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What do you mom's tell your child when they feel discouraged?

I tell my second grader to do some studying and then I will check him to see how much he absorbed. For example spelling he gets so upset with himself he can't remember I get so upset too because he starts to wine and almost cry. It makes me want to just throw my hands up in the air and say I give up. But we keep trying.
what can you tell to ease the frustration?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • I just try to reassure my kids and tell them that they CAN do things! If he just concentrates on doing things he can get things done! I also keep reminding him of how smart he is and how good of a kid he is.

    Answer by silla710 at 9:48 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • You know my daughter use to get discouraged when she couldn't spell or do her math right..I actually told her...lets try together, and came up with a little game we play, she does so much better now, and when I drop her at school in the am the other kids wanna play too:

    Its math/spelling simon says:
    I say: Spell feet~ when ALL have spelled it right~ I tell them~ do 3 jumping jacks, or wiggle your left leg, hop twice, etc....Or if she has trouble with math I do the 12+12= then when they ALL get it right I do it again--hop twice, two steps to the left, etc.......there is no winning or losing, they just have to ALL do it right, and I make them all repeat it or spell it again until i hear EVERYONE has the right answer. (i found this elliminates embarrassing them)
    This has pretty much stopped her saying SHE CAN'T, actually now she says--i Just have to practice harder........

    Answer by LiFeOVeRForTY at 12:10 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • repetition is best let him write those words, be positive!

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:19 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • flash cards are fun too, with rewards, small ones.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:19 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Tell him that some things are harder for some of us than others. Then share with him something that has been hard for you but that you have been able to succeed in by being persistent. I think that sometimes we give our children the idea that we are and always have been perfect at everything we have ever tried to do. By sharing our own struggles with them, they begin to have hope that they too might be able to overcome theirs.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:36 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • make songs out of the words - spell them to some fun music, and i'll bet he remembers better
    also tell him how smart you know he is, and he CAN do this, even if it seems hard

    Answer by bi-polarmommy at 1:14 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I am constantly reassuring my son, especially about his spelling, and he is getting better, here is what works for us: Take a piece of paper, fold it into 3 parts, have him look at the words and write them down, then fold the paper over and read the words to him and he is to write them down, then on the third section, correct any spelling mistakes that he's made. My sons teacher told us about this and for some reason it works good. Maybe from him writing down the words first, it gets ingrained into his brain, I don't know. I'm always telling my son, who is also a second grader that he's smart and can do anything he puts his mind to. I don't accept the words "I CAN'T", he has to at least put in an effort. Good luck, with a little patience things should get better.


    Answer by meetzycat at 3:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • We do the repetitive thing. If it's a spelling word, A-M-E-R-I-C-A. Have him reapeat after you each time mocking about five times each in a sing-songy way, and get faster. Let him see the letters of the word as you do it until you get the whole word down.

    I go through all of the spelling words, and put it away. Do it each day until the spelling test on Friday. In the car on the way to or from school (or errands) I start with the "AME" They catch on and it gets quicker. I also do math quizes in the car and turn it into a game with kids with random questions. This is fun and they look forward to studying with mom. Sometimes in the car, they ask me to quiz them. Every once in a while I stump them and it's a quite ride while they are calculating on their fingers and in their heads until someo

    Answer by snaprcat1 at 3:28 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I constantly tell my daughter how proud I am of how hard she's trying. She gets frustrated when something is more difficult than usual for her (she seems to pick up things quickly, so if it's not easy she "gives up"). I praise her for her hard work, for learning new things, for understanding that there are a lot of things still left for her to learn. I think (at least with my daughter) that helps ease the frustration. She tries hard (and it sounds like your son does too), but some things just aren't easy. Praising her and telling her how proud I am eases her anxiety about not catching on to something as easily as she expects to.

    Answer by Jodi_A at 5:40 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Repetetive style is best for the ones who seem to need more study time than others. Positive words can always help even when it seems that the more you try to encourage the more upset your child seems to get. Spelling wasn't the subject here but math was, just basic math. Addition and subtraction which at times seemed impossible even with the flash cards and continuous repetetive practicing and quizzing. I felt like throwing my hands up more than I can count. Until we realized that his father was better at explaining things in math than myself even though I got the better grades which is why I was the one helping with the math homework. Stay positive!

    Answer by MsShopai at 1:44 AM on Feb. 15, 2009

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