Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What would you do if your told by relative more than one miscarriage means your doing something to them?

My husbands family feels anyone that has more than one miscarriage means they are doing something to end the pregnancies,they really are only pretending to want to be a mother.
I lost twins so they feel that is even more of a crime.
They were not supportive to begin with.
I ate right,got prenatal care,seen a prenatal dietician,took vitmains,exercised.
If it ended it was due to them.
They were not there when i cried for days after the loss,staring at my nursery that will be empty.
he says why say anything since they will not get it,however to me it is stating our position,bottom line i'm 24 weeks pregnant and they will never know this child since i fear them being around the baby.
I have been avoiding them for fear what they may do.
How do you handle family like this?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Feb. 10, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • Exactly the way you are.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:27 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • yes i have i told mine to shut the F up that i did nothing to sto pmy pregnancys i lost 3 and they thought i was doing it on purpose i wasnt the first two i didnt even know i was pregnant yet and the 3rd i knew becuase i was about 10 weeks

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 11:28 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I would stay away from them. You don't need that type of stress. When your child is here and you get to see him/her for the first time, you will forget about them any ways.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • That is a crock! Miscarriages happen for a number of reasons and most have nothing to do with the mother. Unless you are doing some heavy drinking or drugs or throwing yourself down a flight of stairs, most likely you're doing nothing wrong. 1/2 of all pregnancies end in miscarriage (many times before the mother even knows she's pregnant.) It usually means that there was something wrong with the embryo or fetus that it couldn't survive and was not your fault at all. The major period for miscarriages is until the 12th week. He needs to support you, not make you feel like you're doing something wrong. Ask any doctor, they will tell you that if you knew exactly how many things have to go right to make a baby, you'd be surprised how many people are even on this earth!

    Answer by alinker at 11:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • if you fear that they will harm or do something to your baby then its best to stay away ...I'm Sorry that has had to happen to you

    Answer by Leilany1019 at 11:30 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I feel you do not put your body through this to only end it,to me that is such a morbid thought.
    Which is why they will not be around this child,since i worry about the welfare of the baby.
    They the minute find out i'm pregnant do things to be mean and smile despite what my doctor has said to prevent it which was limit stress so they went against doctor's orders.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • Also may I add that you are right in not wanting them to know about this pregnancy. Try to stay away from them and make your hubby (if he wants to explain to them) that if they want anything to do with the baby, they need to stand by you and support you.

    If you need someone to talk to you can add me as a friend. I'm a pretty good listener if you want to vent.

    Answer by alinker at 11:32 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I do not drink,do drugs,smoke..never have, i'm into very organic,holisitc healthy lifestyle.
    Plus who are they to talk they have adopted kids out to peole for not caring for them,but i would never throw that at them since there is a time and place,they need to learn that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • some women have many many miscarriages before one sticks. thats very rude of them to say that, its painful enough without getting blamed for something you have no control of.

    Answer by aliciatron at 11:40 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

  • I have had more than one,does that make me a bad person or mom to be,No.
    They need to learn what family means.
    Maybe you should tell them they are the cause from what they are doing to you.
    I would keep them away from the baby until they change and if they make you feel guilty well until you see them change they made there bed.
    They were not there during a delicate time in your life or the babies so they should not care only once the baby is born,that the baby than is worth an investment.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Feb. 10, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.