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Should I be in the birth room with her?

My cousin asked me to be in the room with her when her DD is born. I really want to be in there but alot of our family is mad cause she doesnt want any others in there. Should I go? I dont want to upset any one...I've been there for her threw her miscarriage in October 2007, when she found out she was prego this time, when she found out what she was having, I have bought her MANY things for this baby, and her and I have even made plans for our kids after her DD is born. I feel if she wants me in there I have the right to be...right? I love my cousin and her DD, It seems I have been waiting for this baby as long as she has lol (I know I really haven't but it feels like it). Why do I have to feel bad about being in there...? Her and I know that all our other family members will stress her out and wont listen to what SHE wants. And she asked me to not only be in there but to make sure things are as she wants...what should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Mikayla_lynn at 12:19 AM on Feb. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,452 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • who cares what the rest want. She wants you and you want to be there for her. that's all that matters

    Answer by flutterfae at 12:20 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Do what you have been asked. I personally felt very honored when two of my aunts asked me to attend their children's births. It is your cousin's birth experience, so she should have things as she wants them. Tell everyone else to take a flying leap.

    Answer by Rebecca7708 at 12:25 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • People need to realize that your cousin is the one who is having the baby not them. I understand everyone is excited about the birth of the baby, your cousin asked YOU to be in the birthing room with her because she wants YOU no one else. Others should think about your cousins feelings and understand her wishes.


    Answer by mommiedear at 12:37 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Go in and be her support. It's important to you AND to her.
    If family is angry, that's THEIR deal, because SHE is having this baby, not them.
    Birth is not a spectator sport.
    She needs to concentrate on her labour and delivery, not on the people around her. If you are the one person she feels can actually support her through it, then that speaks volumes for what a great relationship you have established with her, and you have EARNED the right to be there for her at her desire.

    Answer by Liyoness at 12:45 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Go Be There With Her. It's Her Birth Experience, It's Her Choice. She Chose You. Tell Everyone Else To Go Take A Flying Leap. JMHO.

    Answer by Kari_Noelle at 1:07 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • you don have to care what other say.. if your cousin wanted you to be there be there for her.
    maybe she know you are going to support her and help her with everything and you maybe come the baby godmother or something..

    Answer by mommytobe24 at 1:08 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Girl go!

    Answer by camtri3 at 1:25 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • The most important thing - she wants you there. The second most important thing - you want to be there.

    Those are the only things that matter. As far as the rest of the family goes, tell them this is her choice, and they need to respect it. If they start carrying on, then you need to tell them point blank - this is exactly why she has asked me to be there and not them - because even in this critical time in her life, they can't respect her feelings and wishes, and have to cause all this stress and drama, trying to make it about them and their feelings, instead of making this as easy and peaceful for her as possible as she brings this new life in the world.

    Then tell them that if they can't respect her choice, then one of you (your cousin or you) will call them AFTER the baby is born to let them know, so as to ensure that she has as peaceful and calm a birth experience as possible. And then don't discuss it anymore.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:39 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • One other thing - you can also point out that most hospitals and birthing centers have policies on how many people are allowed in there anyway - and if they really loved her and wanted what was best for her, and, by default, her baby, then they would be happy knowing that the person she (your cousin) chose and will make her most comfortable is who will be there.

    Ask them if they are really so spiteful that they would rather make this harder on her, by forcing it to be their way, or making her have this baby alone and without you there just to make them happy, as opposed to doing what will make the MOTHER who is the one GIVING BIRTH happy?!?!

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 1:42 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • The pregnant woman's wishes trump everything except medical considerations. the family will just have to wait.

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:46 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

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