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3 Bumps

Helping my SIL

I'm the first and only c-section of the family,and the family never took it very well mostly they just had no idea what to say. My SIL is 9 months pregnant and her son is breech so if he doesn't turn by the time she goes into labor then she has a c-section. She says she's ok but she doesn't look it and I know that some of her friends and quite a few of our family members are kind of judgey crunchy if you know what I mean(they were already trying to guilt her out of an epidural even though she has a chronic pain disorder). I know that she normally goes along with these people so that makes it even harder.

Any ideas on what to say or maybe a gift of some type? I just know that I don't want her to go through what I did feeling like a leper having everybody tell you sorry and that you can do better next time.
So how do I help?

Answer Question
 
lizziebreath

Asked by lizziebreath at 7:51 PM on Nov. 8, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 19 (6,762 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • OMG..i wouldn't give those people the time of day! how crappy can they get!
    the poor thing, if she has to have a C-S, she has to have one. they should be ashamed of themselves. its not like she's less of a woman. good grief.
    i'd just stick by her and remind her that what is best for the baby AND her is something she and her doctor decide, not judgemental family members or 'friends'. encourage her all you can.
    a C-S is not the end of the world. heck, some women prefer it!
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:53 PM on Nov. 8, 2012

  • Most OB's in our clinic had an epidural. No need to be a hero. Pain meds exist in the modern world, use them! I'd tell her that ultimately, it is HER body and she will need to start standing up for herself and her child at some point, why not now? It's no one else's damn business.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:55 PM on Nov. 8, 2012

  • and with a breach, no choice. C-section it is nowadays.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:55 PM on Nov. 8, 2012

  • caddy bitches - who gives them the right to say what is right or wrong for her?!?! just stay by her side no matter what and let her know you are there for her!!
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:08 PM on Nov. 8, 2012

  • Anyone who judges her for having a c-section is simply flaunting their pig-ignorance of medical requirements. IMO, when you don't know diddley-squat about something you keep your mouth shut.

    Please tell your SIL from me that I hope all goes well for her and that she'll soon have a precious bundle of babyhood in her arms :)
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:21 AM on Nov. 9, 2012

  • That is so cruel. This should be a joyful time. I would just tell her that you are there to support her through this. Maybe get her some flowers of a pretty robe or nightgown or a little bag of her favorite lotions etc so that she can take it to the hospital with her.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 10:25 AM on Nov. 9, 2012

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