Is everyone really that divorce-happy?

Generally that advice is given for the unforgivables. If my husband verbally abused me, we'd be divorced. If he physically abused me, my brother would make me a widow. And if my husband cheated. that same brother would make him a eunuch.

I don't think divorce is always the answer. But there are times when staying is the worst possible thing in the world.

Well, yes.... If I say it, I mean it. I divorced my husband after 16 years, so I feel that gives me some experience to pass on.

I'm divorced & I stayed much longer than I should have all for security. Which is a horrible reason to stay.

IRL, I know someone who's DH had an affair for over a year but, he when confronted (and scared) said he wanted to stay. So, she took that as a "he really loves me" and immediatedly started changing herself, yeah...she'd a co-dependent weirdo. What's most bizarre is he was unemployed (why he wanted to stay) and she was supporting the family. I honestly don't have any respect for her now. So, I guess that makes me "divorce-happy" so be it.

For us, there are a few absolute deal breakers. Cheating, abuse, drug use would all mean automatic divorce. There would be no second chances for those things.

I would want to try counseling first but if he refused to go or it just didn't seem to work for us then, yes, divorce it would be.

I think on the whole we are only seeing a small window into the relationship and we all process things differently. Since we all come from different experiences it's easy to just say 'dump him' or to kick him to the curb. I don't think most members follow this advice unless it's what they really feel inside and just wanted a little validation. Some situations described on here are so damaging that I personally can't imagine trying to put such a relationship back together. To what end and for whom? Suggesting that someone get an attorney when they feel that something is wrong is just preparedness. Since most mothers of divorce end up being the custodial parents and not usually the bread winners, it's important to protect your property rights and to not only think about you, but also being able to take care of your kids.

There is alot I would not put up with but I usually do not say divorce unless there is physical or emotional abuse.

Well, I don't appreciate being lumped in with "everyone" :P Unless there's statements of any kind of abuse, I say counseling or go check out certain books to help with the marriage. I hate using that D word for anything, and I honestly feel a lot of people give up too soon on a marriage.

And gdiamante, I have a father and a brother who would take my husband out "hunting" if he ever abused me (in ways I didn't like :P), and cheating IS abuse.