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Is everyone really that divorce-happy?

I have a question for you ladies. I do not get to answer questions on Cafe Mom as often as I would like to, but I do get on to read answers, especially those in the relationship. I notice that when questions are asked many of you automatically jump to divorce. I have seen everything from "sit his shit outside and change the locks" to "hire a lawyer" to "he's dead to you." Quite frankly, I love it and it cracks me up. But I wonder if everyone is really that divorce happy? Mind you the things the guy did are usually pretty heinous. But have you all been in similar situations where you have had to get a divorce? Or if not, would you really be prepared to divorce your husband for these things?


Asked by hatagaj at 7:25 PM on Nov. 10, 2012 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,230 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • I believe in "Never say never..." Marriage is not easy and I even seem to have a pretty good one. For faith purposes, I do not believe in an easy button when it comes to dealing with problems in a marriage... However, if I find him cheating and non-repentant of his acts, then he is probably out the door. Adultery is a bit different.

    Answer by Ruthmom802 at 8:11 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • I'll support a person who wants a divorce but I've never advised anyone to get a divorce & generally the people whose posts I respond to (in Relationships) are expressing distress about how things are & a longing for change. Most situations do sound dysfunctional & entrenched, and perhaps there's not much reason for hope, but I do believe if people get the right support & really want to change, they probably can. It may not mean the "marriage" is saved but maybe their way of being in it changes, maybe their way of relating changes, and this simple thing can make room for big change in a relationship. This is true even for apparently hopeless situations, including codependent addictions--chemical or behavioral (computer games, etc.), lying, cheating, etc.

    If people had more self-understanding & better emotional regulation, they wouldn't fall into those patterns & behaviors in the first place! Getting help can be transforming.

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:02 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • I totally agree with you ladies. I just wondered because sometimes I see these answers on things that are not as drastic. In my marriage abuse and cheating would be the deal breakers. Sometimes I look at people and think, "How does she put up with that?" But I feel like I really don't know what I would do unless I was put in the situation.

    Comment by hatagaj (original poster) at 7:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2012

  • I would want to try counseling first but if he refused to go or it just didn't seem to work for us then, yes, divorce it would be.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2012

  • Uhhh no but if what they are saying sounds horrid then yes.

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 4:02 AM on Nov. 11, 2012