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What do you think about having Thanksgiving at a restaurant?

I have always loved Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. They have been the 3 main holidays that we all get together and have delicious food. Now that us kids are grown and have families of our own, it is a lot more work as there are a lot more people. We have all said we would chip in and help physically and monetarily. None of the rest of us have homes big enough to host so the only place to host is at my parents'.
For Thanksgiving this year, we are all talking about having it at a restaurant instead. I don't like the idea and personally would rather do something with just my kids and my boyfriend. How do I tell my parents and siblings this without causing a huge war?

I'm putting this in relationships as I care more about the relationship part than the holiday.

 
tempsingl3mom

Asked by tempsingl3mom at 4:45 PM on Nov. 11, 2012 in Relationships

Level 26 (27,550 Credits)
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Answers (18)
  • To each their own, but it's not for me. My mom's side of the family doesn't fit in anyone's home anymore either, so we always rent a small local hall and have a potluck. We do the same thing with MIL's side for Christmas, rent a local school gym and set up tables & chairs. Everybody's more comfortable with the room, kids have room to play and run around. Maybe suggest that instead, that you rent a room somewhere and make it potluck.
    idareyou

    Answer by idareyou at 5:17 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • tempsing, Thanksgiving is not about where you eat or what you eat. It's about being with those you love and being thankful you're together.
    I do understand how you feel and at one time I too felt that way, but 6 years with my son serving in the Military, changed my views on this. Hell, one year we had Thanksgiving at a Denny's and I was more thankful for that meal than any Thanksgiving we've ever had. He left for Iraq the next day.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 5:08 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • I'd prefer a restaurant meal. I hate Thanksgiving prep.
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 4:49 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • People who work restaurants on Thanksgiving are paid double, tipped extra well, and usually request the day because they'd rather have the money and either do something with their family a different day or don't have a family to spend it with. Some do it as a trade, a holiday they care less about, so they can have one they care more about instead. Don't use them as an excuse.

    We did TG at a restaurant off and on over the years depending on who was where, it meant my grandmother didn't have to kill herself getting ready for it, no cold food, nobody upset because they're stuck eating something they don't like, nobody bitching because the tv is on or off during dinner. You can always meet at the parents for desserts after dinner, which also makes the dinner part optional for anyone who wants to go just for dessert.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:56 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • but 1/2 the memories is in the prep and clean up.

    And unless you're volunteering your home and your time for that prep and clean up, it's very selfish to expect someone else to do it for the sake of your memories. Is that really a valid reason to not see your family - you'll see them if one of them trashes their kitchen, or not at all?
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:11 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • I like it. I spent the last ten Thanksgivings alone eating tv dinners but this year my sister is coming. She and her husband are taking me to the Officer's Club on base! YAY. That's like eating at the White House...THAT"S how good the food is there.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:11 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • Not a fan. I realize somepeople have no where to go , or there is a food disaster at home, but I would not do it because all I could think about would be all those people waiting on me instead of enjoying their own families.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 4:48 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • I've done it before. When my husband was deployed, I took the kids to a restaurant. No wasting money on food, doing dishes, leftovers, etc. I don't have family around and haven't for years because of the military so holidays don't really mean much to me. I would tip the person generously too since they are away from their families. Restaurant buffet meals on the holidays are a lot more crowded than one would think.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 4:52 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • Just tell your family that you've already made Thanksgiving plans with your BF and kids but would love to stop by after they get home from dinner and bring a pie for dessert.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 4:55 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

  • Also, my mom has made it clear to everyone that she does not like my boyfriend.

    Then why bring up all this mess about the restaurant when the real issue is that your mom doesn't like your boyfriend, whether it's Thanksgiving or April Fool's Day?
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 5:15 PM on Nov. 11, 2012

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