My no good husband!!

For the past 10 years together he has Internet cheated told another woman he loved her. Talked to how many woman I don't know! Lately stuff has been popping up on his phone and he says "I don't know how that got there I haven't done anything" "why can't you believe me" ugh he's the only one that ever has his phone EVER!! Well went on my YouTube account and went to the history bc I was going to listen to a song I recently listened to. And my history was of up skirt videos of woman. Girl car washes so on and so forth. His phone is an old one I used to use so YouTube is also signed in to my account on his phone. He knows I have issues with my body then finding out he's looking at woman with perfect boobs ass n body makes me feel worse about myself. I literally have no boobs I lost 80+ lbs and breast fed all 3 of our kids have some loose skin and no ass. :( I just don't know what to do. If killing him was legal I would of done it by now lol. It just pisses me off. Like be a damn man fess up to it don't act like a scared little boy once your caught!

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Asked by mommyof3_21 at 9:22 AM on Nov. 12, 2012 in Relationships

691 Level 12

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There is one very simple answer to your problem, and given your description, there is alot more going on in your relationship than this one thing. And that answers is intense marriage counseling or abuse. You do not have to live like that and your kids are learning how to either be treated by men or how to treat women by your example.

Answer by adnilm at 9:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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not "abuse" But "divorce"

Answer by adnilm at 9:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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10 years of this, how come you let it go on for so long!!!
If I have to put that much time and effort into babysitting my husband I do not need him for my husband.

Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:27 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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I agree with meooma. What are you staying ? And please don't say it's for the kids' sake ! My parents did this and it's good for nobody and surely NOT for the kids !

If you know his behaviour and you know he will never change (I mean 10 years ?!), it means you accept it and you go with it or you don't accept his behaviour (sorry but IMO it's not a great example for the kids) and you get your life back into your own hands and tell him to go get lost somewhere !

Good luck !

Answer by ajc03 at 9:29 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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He's always says he's going to change then doesn't do anything for a month or so.I stay bc I love him yes he keeps hurting me by doing those things but I don't want my children to be like mommy didn't try to work it out with daddy. I stay bc he's all I know. Who's going to want a boob less ass less loose skin woman! :( I know that's a lame excuse.

Comment by mommyof3_21 (original poster) at 9:32 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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I have tried leaving I even got packed one time me and the kids were heading out and he dropped down to his knees and begged for me to stay that he would change. I have given him so many chances. He says it's like an addiction to him so I say go to therapy then and his excuse is we can't afford it! I'm starting to get the feeling that maybe he doesn't want to change and maybe showing him that I'm not going to give in just bc he crystal and gets on his hands and knees I will forgive him. I'm going to set my foot down and "grow some balls" so to speak!

Comment by mommyof3_21 (original poster) at 9:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
Credits: 691 Level 12
Well it sounds more like "daddy didn't try to make it work !"

I'm sorry but you are the one responsible for staying with him and really it sounds like your marriage is not a good model for your kids. Boys and/or girls will think that it's normal for the man to cheat and for the woman to say nothing !

Your body has nothing to do with the situation ! You have to learn to accept your body as it is or change it by exercising. Change can be frignthening but it can also be freeing !

I hope you will do what is best for you and your kids.

Answer by ajc03 at 9:40 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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I do excercise that is why I have the loose skin bc I lost 80 lbs

Comment by mommyof3_21 (original poster) at 10:46 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
Credits: 691 Level 12
Churches do counseling for free, so I would find a place who would take him and then I would give him the choice of either going to counseling or my leaving. I don't believe in divorce in these instances, but I do believe that if he truly loves you and wants you in his life, he will be willing to do what is necessary to keep you there or to get you back there. I just attended a conference this week-end on this type of counseling, and I know it to be highly effective. Google NANC Counseling and find one in your area. Your husband has a serious problem, and it's not unlike any other addiction. He can't kick it by himself, but he can overcome it with the right kind of help. I understand the depth of love you have for him, but please remember that sometimes, love must be tough. In fact, there is a book by that title by Dr. James Dobson that would be very helpful for you to read. I wouldn't give up on him, but I would be firm.

Answer by NannyB. at 10:50 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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If you want him to act like a man, then it's time you started acting like a woman, not somebody's doormat. For crying out loud, if he hasn't stopped in 10 years, then he isn't going to. Especially since you've made it clear you aren't going to leave him over it. Your body issues are not the reason he's looking at other women. Those are yours alone. I've said it before and I'll say it again, How many times do you have to kick a dog before she doesn't want to be by you? STOP BEING THE DOG!

Answer by hootie826 at 11:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2012
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