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2 Bumps

Do you think if you buy someone something as a gift,that you get to dictate how they use it or what they do with it?

I was talking with my mom about this necklace that my grandma bought my cousin(when she was 13 in 1998),and a ring she bought me when I was 16(back in 1988)
A few years before she passed,she got a hair across her ass and started asking us what we did with those things
The necklace was misplaced when my cousin moved away from an abusive boyfriend.
I still have that god awful ring. It's a dolphin and the fin sticks up on the top of the ring. I stopped wearing it because it got caught on everything i wore,and would pull my hair out at the roots if i got my hand anywhere near my head
My grandma felt that if we were not going to wear the stuff,that we were suppose to give it back to her.
I don't give gifts and then demand that people use them the way I feel they should. When it's given,it's theirs.

 
butterflyblue19

Asked by butterflyblue19 at 7:43 PM on Nov. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,284 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Your grandma was wrong. If something is a gift, when you had it to the receiver, it's their property, and you no longer have any claim to it. Otherwise, you're just lending stuff.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 7:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • Oh man, once you give something it's a done deal. Think of how many things you've received in your life that you didn't know what to do with? That my friend, is why cash is king!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:45 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • Gifts should be given with no strings attached...maybe she is senile......
    older

    Answer by older at 7:47 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • A gift is a gift, period. No strings attached. Once you give something to someone, it doesn't belong to you anymore, and that person can do with it what he or she pleases. Especially after years and years have passed, for goodness sake.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • OP I would have saif the same thing.
    DJDNY

    Answer by DJDNY at 8:09 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • You are correct. But you should be aware... dementia can last for decades. I just found out my MIL had dementia starting in 1995. And we just thought she was being surly for 17 years.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:18 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • Nope, once you give it away you have no say.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 1:24 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • A gift is given without strings of any kind.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 2:53 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Nah,she was always surly like that
    butterflyblue19

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 7:48 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • She had my cousin crying over that. She really knew how to reduce you to nothing
    i stood up for her and asked ,what did she want her to do? go back to the abuser and ask if she could look around the house for it?!
    butterflyblue19

    Comment by butterflyblue19 (original poster) at 8:03 PM on Nov. 12, 2012