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2 Bumps

How do I deal with my boyfriends family?

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we have been good friends sense we were about 10. His whole family acts like they can't stand me and that I am not good enough for him. His mother and sister talk crap about me infront of my face. I love him so much but I don't know what to do. We have talked about it many times and he knows what they say because they talk crap to him and I am assuming it upsets him. Yet, all he can say is I'm sorry for what they say and that he loves me. I just have a hard time dealing and lately his family has been acting like we are not even dating they introduced me as just his friend. I am so hurt and exausted, I don't know what to do.

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Jor13dana

Asked by Jor13dana at 10:18 PM on Nov. 12, 2012 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Not sure what to say to get them to like you but my friend had this same situation for years and almost 2 years ago her bf's mom introduced him to the woman she thought he should marry. They will marry this summer and my friend still asks why they did not like her.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:26 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • If they have made up their minds to not like you, there's not alot you can do to change this. Just be yourself, if they can't see that you and your bf are happy and that you are a good person, then it's their loss. I would try to limit your time around them, and explain to your bf why you don't want to spend alot of time around them. He should stand up for you to them, he needs to let them know that you are a part of his life and will always be, and either they treat you with respect or they will see less of both of you.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 10:30 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • my drama gossip filled in laws didn't like me either, we were together 5 years before we married, then 6 MORE years til I finally got pregnant - suddenly his mom "came around" and loves me more than anything - they are dramatic horrible people period - she is a great grand mother so there is not an issue with time spent but you can NOT change horrible people -period -
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • I'm in the same situation, except it's my pain in the ass family that won't welcome my boyfriend, the father of my child. I've made it clear to all of them that anywhere my boyfriend and my stepson aren't welcome, my daughter and I won't be going, either. It's a hard line, I know, and I miss out on celebrating with the people I love, but it's either accept my family as a whole or not at all. We may spend Christmas by ourselves, but if we do, so be it. Maybe next year some of my extended family will stand up to the ones who are judging my boyfriend. If not, we'll make new traditions and build our own memories. Life's too short to hang out with people who put you down.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2012

  • He needs to tell his family to knock it off. Apologizing for their behaviour to you is not letting them know that he considers it unacceptable. He needs to confront them and tell them that he expects them to show a little respect to the woman he loves.

    If they are talking crap to him about you then why doesn't he just get up and go when they start?

    In the end, if they are this nasty after all this time I think I would just avoid them altogether. However, I'd be very upset if my bf didn't stand up for me when they started badmouthing me ... very upset and disappointed indeed.
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 2:47 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I know what you are going through. I have been married for 12 years to my wonderful husband. My MIL and 2 SIL have NEVER accepted me, nor any of his mother's side of family for that matter. They all wanted him to marry the private airline heiress. She was the girlfriend before me. It didn't matter that she was caught cheating numerous times and broke his heart until he left her. I am not an heiress waiting to inherit millions. My husband picked me because I am honest & loyal and capable of true love. At first, it was hard because he did not stand up to his mother. But once our children came into our lives, my husband put his foot down with his family and stood up for me against his mother. I'm glad he did, he proved once again he loved me very much. To this day, his family does not like me. If family peacefulness is important to u then re-think the relationship. Or stay if u can live with the current situation for a lifetime.
    skitNbearsmom

    Answer by skitNbearsmom at 3:53 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • If he cannot man up and tell them to stop or he is out of their life after five years then he NEVER will. Get out of this relationship it will only get worse if you marry or have children.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 2:51 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

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