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This is a touchy situation. Ten months ago, my sister & sister inlaw had too much to drink at a family dinner. They began making rude remarks so they went to the front porch as to keep their language from the kids' earshot. I hung around late as my kids were having fun with their kids, and so I stayed a bit longer. I went to the porch to say my goodnights to the ladies before I dropped the "let's go" to my children. What was such a nice evening drastistically ended with my sister and sister inlaw viciously verbally attacking everything about me. They ganged up on me, saying my kids thought they were too good because they're straight A students and very involved in school activities. They attacked me about my husband, my home, my car, and my job. Everything that came out of their mouths were in anger, jealousy, and seemed to me pure hatred.
I never lost my temper and just told them that I will not continue a conversation with a pair of drunken wives, and if they want to spend time with my family & I in the future-it will be an alcohol-free event. We left and I couldn't help but feel ambushed and hurt. I was totally betrayed by my sister because she doesn't even like our sister inlaw and talks about her all the time. I thought my sis inlaw & I were close friends. Needless to say, I stayed away for ten months.
My sister called me two weeks ago to apologize over the phone. She also informed me that her fiance set a wedding date of Dec. 1st, 2012. She said she would my daughter to be her flowergirl.
I forgave her. I want to have a good relationship again, but I think its too soon. She doesn't know my home address and she keeps hinting at visiting and planning at my house, but her girlfriend is the maid of honor. I don't trust my sister. She said some unbelieveably hurtful things to me. I feel if I reveal personal info of my life, she will use it against me like she did that night. She has become so vindictive. She has changed for the worst. My sister inlaw has been called a b*tch many times but multiple people close to her. I tend to overlook it and believe everyone is capable of having a heart. Plus I love my brother very much and I would never hurt him in any way. My brother is my favorite sibling.
How do I tell my sister that I don't want to hang out? She is expecting me to just jump back into things like nothing happened. She has invited me to accompany her to watch her get a tattoo, shopping, wedding gown fitting. She continues to hint at coming to my house. She is NOTORIOUS for coming over without calling. She has asked multiple times for my address so she can mail my wedding invitation. However she lives with our mother and I visit mom about every two weeks at her job or other places.
I don't want to associate with her because I feel like I can't trust her. She doesn't get it. If I say something, she's going to take it the wrong way. I just know it. I don't know how much longer I can keep making excuses. Ladies, I know I can be blunt and tell her where to shove it. But I'm trying to keep the peace and be the bigger person here. Any helpful supportive advice would be appreciated.
Asked by Anonymous at 3:24 AM on Nov. 13, 2012 in Relationships
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