Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

How do you tell you daughter she's just not good at singing?

My 11 year old daughter keeps wanting to participate in singing competitions. She's really not a good singer. She has plenty of other talents, singing just doesn't happen to be one of them. I don't want to hurt her. Do I just let her keep trying until she realizes that singing isn't her thing? She gets so upset when her friends advance a round and she doesn't.

Answer Question

Asked by missanc at 3:52 AM on Nov. 13, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 43 (163,403 Credits)
Answers (21)
  • Have you tried recording her and playing it back for her? It would at least give you a clue to whether she's legitimately tone deaf (if she is, she'll still think it sounds good), or just has no idea how she really sounds.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 4:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Video-tape her singing and then show her how she performs. Maybe she doesn't hear what you hear. We tell our children to dream big. So I wouldn't drop the bomb so harshly. My ten year old is not a perfect singer either, but you will not hear me dash her hopes. I just tell her keep singing like nobody's watching. I know it will not last forever. I cherish these times. Sounds like you are embarassed.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:01 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Anon - I'm not embarrassed. My daughter is an amazing young woman and nothing she does will ever embarrass me. It hurts me when she's crying over not making the cut. I played piano for years and while I'm not a perfect singer I can "hear" music. She tries hard, she's just not good, plain and simple. If she enjoys singing I think she should sing but I'm just wondering how many times I let her get hurt in competitions.
    Np - thanks for the recording idea!

    Comment by missanc (original poster) at 4:10 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Could it be that she doesn't know how to use her voice? I've help many a young kid with this. They have potential but they don't hear what's going on. With a few lessons maybe she could improve. A good vocal coach will assess her, will tell you if she can be helped.

    Answer by daps at 5:10 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I would just keep supporting her my son is very good at martial arts but we tried Krav Maga together he was not good at it but he went to be there as a hobby to be well versed in another form and just to support. Maybe its not her thing and maybe she can take some lessons and find out if she can get better. Just support her as she takes lessons.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:14 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • You don't, let her compete. Let the judges tell her. That way she wont put it against you in the end.


    Answer by louise2 at 6:44 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Don't ever tell her that. How about getting her some singing lessons? I feel that most people can sing fairly well if they just have the right technique. With a few lessons she might do wonders! Suggest them as a way to get to the next round :)

    Answer by winterglow at 7:09 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Why don't you suggest some voice lessons, since she keeps entering competitions? A voice teacher will let her know exactly what she's doing wrong, and help her improve.

    Answer by SWasson at 7:42 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Singing lessons. It's amazing how much a voice can transform from singing lessons

    Answer by adnilm at 8:11 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I agree with the singing lessons.

    Answer by mompam at 8:30 AM on Nov. 13, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.