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Public housing

We live in an upper class town but in the low income housing complex. We've met some great people in town and the kids have some great friends. That said, many people snub us just because of where we live. My kids are kind, respectful kids and it bothers me that some people won't give them a fair chance.

Would you judge someone in our position?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Feb. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • no i wouldnt if your good people where you live does not change that. and all the people that live in those nicey nice homes where you are are probably a bunch of snobs who dont get out of their jammies til two and are drunk by noon. just be you and don't let anyone change your heart or your kids kindness and respect.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 9:15 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • No I dont think I would. I might be a little wary if the neighborhood was bad or something but if it wasnt a bad neighborhood then I wouldnt think anything about it. The only reason a bad neighborhood would make me think down on someone who lived there would be because of crime and not knowing if you would be trust worthy. Otherwise I dont think Id have a problem. The fact is though many people do judge someone based on their homes, what they earn, do for a living etc. Its how its always seemed to be. They tend to generalize everyone as uneducated, lazy and living off the govt. That is probably one reason some act weird around you or the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:43 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • No but I may not meet you in your part of town if the crime rate was high. Hopefully you would not take that as a snub.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Hell no..I grew up in the projects and it made me into the successful woman I am today. I would never judge a person due to their financial circumstances. While we now live in a house in a upper class neighborhood I still have family in the projects and we visit them often.

    Sorry you're going through this...believe me it will only make you and your kids stronger!
    NJMom2Tyler

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 10:12 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I wouldn't judge you because we are all in different situations. However I don't allow my kids to associate themselves with the kids from our public housing areas. Nothing personal but growing up I've lived there and know what goes on there. With my 1st child I knew that wasn't the life I wanted for my kids so I made sure I did everything possible not to get back there. My kids deserve better and once they are part of that life then it's over for them. I just can't let that happen.
    Nothing personal against you but like I said I know what kind of things happens in Public Housing in my city
    mommatime78

    Answer by mommatime78 at 10:14 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • It's a smaller town with a small housing complex. There are some questionable people here (as there is anywhere) but it's not a high crime area.

    For Mommatime78:

    We do not want this life for our kids either. Believe it or not, we work hard and we're doing what we can to leave here. We made some not so wise decisions as young parents but we've grown up a lot and we're working on it. My kids are better behaved than many of the town kids are. This is the mindset that hurts. You wouldn't let your kids play with mine on the playground if you knew we lived in public housing? You don't think my kids deserve the chance to prove themselves? My kids deserve better too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • idk........... honestly. yeah but i wouldnt do it in front of my kids, i would let them play at a park or whatever, but i wouldnt wanna go to your house, you could come to mine but that would be it... sorry!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:06 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • we have public/low income housing in our area mixed in with the standard housing of the area. I know many dont agree on how our develeopment code works but when a new development is proposed they are required to set aside a portion of the density (and they get more density based on the amount of low income housing provided) based on this there isnt one central public housing or low income housing area in our town. there are a few aparment complexes that tend to house lower income families but when you live in a resort town with majority of the homes being between 750,000 and several mil it is near impossible to buy a place if you are a service industry worker but through our land trust groups there are oppturnities.

    that being said my older dds do have a friend or 2 that live in the low income housing and other than the kids generally comming to our house we dont have many issues other than the typical teen issues but TBC
    mtnaspen

    Answer by mtnaspen at 12:25 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • the thing that we have found is that since most of the people that live in the low income areas are the service industry workers for our major hotel and hospitality industry the children of these workers tend to stick together I would guess based mainly on the enthic and language issues. My second oldest was one of the kids that her elementray teachers would always pair up with one of the ESL students and while they were "friends" in school whenever my dd would make attemps to futher the friendship out of school there were always reasons why the girls couldnt come over or meet us at a near by park and eventualy the new family would feel more comfortable with the other families in the complex and the student that was very freindly with my dd in the first few months of school would start to be very rude and say things that hurt my DDs fealings many of these things were about the color of her skin and being diffrent than them
    mtnaspen

    Answer by mtnaspen at 12:31 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • i grew up in public housing.i am fortunate enough now to own a house...i always had a stigma about it.so i asked my girls where public housing was in our town.they said they didnt know.i asked them if they knew anyone who lived there they said no.and none of there friends knew anyone either.i know there is in our town.but my point is dont let that be a stigma.some people may not even realize you live in public housing.and if they do and they are jerks frig them...i meet people now that i went to school with that i thought cared but they said no.they didnt even realize it and didnt care...my daughters who are 23 and 29 said that didnt matter in school.and nobody cared..so take that approach...
    snowmom974

    Answer by snowmom974 at 1:04 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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