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5 Bumps

Are we in the minority?

I was talking to a friend tonight about parenting and the differences between now and just a couple decades ago. It boggles our minds that people don't expect as much out of their kids today but then freak out when said kid can't handle the real world. When handing out trophy's to every kid, not expecting them to do chores because that is too much for them and not even being able to discipline your own child became commonplace, then the world started going to hell.

For a while each generation taught the next generation to be stronger and smarter and just all around better. Parents WANTED their kids to outshine them. Now it seems like people want to wrap their kids in bubblewrap and keep them children forever. They don't let them get a sense of what the real world is like because they don't want them hurt. I get not wanting to see your child cry, but if they don't learn that disappointments are real and that they won't get everything handed to them, how do they become responsible adults?

 
kmath

Asked by kmath at 9:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 48 (293,424 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • My parents were awesome. We had fun, we had responsibility, we had freedom to roam and play and skin our knees and work out our own fights with friends. We had a few major rules which, if broken, resulted in major punishment. My parents would never have thought to yell at a teacher on my behalf, or give me any sense of entitlement if it wasn't hard earned.

    I'm still pissed about the 12 years of piano lessons though. I'm just sayin
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 10:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I whole-heartedly agree with you. Children are also being constantly entertained by electronics instead of figuring out how to entertain themselves. We're raising a generation of kids who won't know how to handle adulthood away from their parents.

    DH and I are trying our best not to fall into this pattern.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 9:52 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • i dont see this where i live...at least not anymore. it seems the parents of the now teen/early college crowd did those things. but ive noticed that the parents of the under 10 crowd seem to have realized friend-parenting doesnt work.

    im with you tho. its not easy being a parent, but if you dont parent when they are young they'll be babies their whole life.
    okmanders

    Answer by okmanders at 9:57 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • Friend parenting was the biggest mistake EVER. Sure, I do fun things & act silly but, my kids know that I won't tolerate some things. So, I guess I'm "old school" too. I definitely want my girls to outshine me.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:01 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • See, there is a way to do both. You don't have to be a downright warden to your kids, but you shouldn't just let them go either. My mother choose the warden option with me and, as can be expected, I rebelled against her as soon as I got the chance. With my kids, I am trying to be a bit more easy going with them. I don't send them out in bubble wrap, or freak out every time they get a cold. I do let them "get away" with some things that my mother would freak out about, but I don't just let them go completely. I think good parents lie somewhere in the middle of friend and warden.
    -Ashley
    spiritguide_23

    Answer by spiritguide_23 at 10:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I agree with you.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:22 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • The Dr. Spock phenomenon. One generation of kids was raised by parents reading his book. Their kids went on to raise another generation, with no idea wtf they were doing, because they had a lousy template to build on. Around that time, Dr. Spock came out with a few revisions and apologies, but it's a little late now.

    It's not every kid, but it is a large chunk of each generation - those who read the books, those who were peer pressured by those who read the books (ala any ERF/BF/CIO argument you read here), those who were raised by those in the first group - and meanwhile the ones raised by that first group are also the ones demanding the schools, coaches and activities bend to what they think is right - not that everyone gets a trophy, but that THEIR child does, and if that means everyone else has to, to make that happen, so be it.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 1:57 PM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • I think- many as opposed to an entire generation are being raised with a lack of imagination

    what is appalling is that, there are many of us who have a more traditional concept of child rearing and the state is restricting our responsibilities to our children.

    to consider: my mother was driving a cherry picker at 9. if I tried to teach my children this skill, now- I would face legal ramifications...
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 10:01 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I think the same thing every day kmath. Some of the things on this site and things I see out in public just amaze the crap out of me. You have to be willing to put forth the effort to bring in results...

    (I was always taught and still believe)!

    Parenting is not easy.... it's a full time job and it lasts a lifetime....
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 10:06 PM on Nov. 13, 2012

  • I totally agree with you, kmath. DH is a teacher and I think: holy crap! These kids are going to grow up and be surgeons or engineers and they're going to expect people to just hold their hand through everything. There is no way I'm going to let my kids grow up to feel that way or that they are entitled to anything just because they were born (as some of DH's students firmly feel).
    Chocolatespring

    Answer by Chocolatespring at 11:43 PM on Nov. 13, 2012