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Age differences

my street is full of kids of all different ages, the great part about living in a suburban area. well, my kids are ages 6, 3 & 2, and they frequently play with one family in particular just a few houses down. (ive posted about them before, but im slowly able to tolerate them in small doses) well i only allow one of them in my house at a time, because i already have 3 kids, i'm a single mom & can only supervise so many things at once. i used to allow 2 or 3 of them inside (there are 5 kids total in that family) and quickly learned my lesson with that.

personally, i feel it's appropriate that my kids play with the younger children there, the twin girls that are turning 7 this weekend or the 8 year old.

when we're all outside, well obviously it doesn't matter who comes over to join, we're outside.

the 10 year old girl is always getting jealous about me not letting her inside to play, or letting her sleepover like i do the younger girls, or have dinner with us. even the 12 year old boy gets upset when i don't let him inside to play with my YOUNG daughters.

i don't get it... why would children those ages even want to play with my kids? i get that they probably just want to play with their stuff, they don't have a lot of stuff at their houses. but really, at 10 & 12 i had no interest to play with kids that younger than me, that i remember anyway.

am i being bitchy about this, i mean, would you allow kids that are 5+ years older than your kids come inside to play, or kids that are older and of the opposite sex?

Answer Question
 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 7:36 AM on Nov. 14, 2012 in Parenting Debate

Level 43 (159,439 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I think it's all about the toys and "He/She gets to go in and play. It's not fair"
    my son is 11. He looks at the 2,3,4 year olds like they're an alien race,lol. He has no interest in them at all
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 7:39 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • if i trusted them, sure. if i were there and watching things, sure.
    if not to either, no.
    dullscissors

    Answer by dullscissors at 7:41 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • Well I have sisters who come over, they are my dds friends. They have an older brother who plays video games with my dh when they play with my girls. If I ask them over for dinner I ask him. If I take them bowling I take him as well. I wouldnt let him come over and just play with my dds but we do inclued him in when we do extra stuff. He likes when we do holiday crafts, bake, go out. All together I have six children when they come over I can handle it they are all 7 and up and listen other than my youngest who is 4. But I feel that if the younger ones are your dds friends you do t have to include the older ones it's just nice to do that sometimes.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 9:57 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • Well, I don't have much experience with kids that age yet, but growing up the only time I played with anyone that much older or younger than me it was a game of football, basketball, baseball, a group activity with cousins. I kinda think they may just want to play with your children's stuff. At least that's what seems to me.
    mommy_jules

    Answer by mommy_jules at 8:09 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • "full of kids of all different ages"

    so then there are other kids that are their age they can play with, right? If that's the case, then I would find it somewhat odd. But if all the kids on the street are younger than they are, I don't think it's all that odd. For a long time, my oldest son was the oldest boy in our neighborhood, so he was playing with a boy his little brother's age, because that was their only playmate.

    Also - is this family liked by the rest of the nieghborhood? Maybe these older kids want to play with yours because you and your kids are the only ones that would play with them? When I was a kid, there was a family in our neighborhood that was seriously screwed up and their kids clung to me because I didn't know their history - well, until my parents found out and said I couldn't play with them anymore. No other kids would play with them, because they all knew what went on in their house.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:13 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • Being that my daughter is 11, no I'm not interested in her playing with boys 5+ years older than her! :). But when they were young it really didn't bother me. My dd still loves to go over and play with her cousins that range in age from 3-9. And yes she even plays with just the 3 yo cousin at times. I also have a 2 yo dd and a 3 yo ds and its not rare that the friends of my 11 yo dd and almost 13 yo ds will spend a little time playing with my little ones if my older one(s) aren't home at the time.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 8:16 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • I don't think it's about your kids, it's about sibling rivalry. Mom and dad are probably (don't know) not paying enough attention. I vaguely remember your issues with these people.
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 8:43 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • I agree with asnilm, it's more about sibling rivalry ! They would like the attention from someone else too because maybe they don't get it at their own place.
    Oh and my 13 y/o loves to play with his 5 and 2 y/o brothers (and their toys).
    ajc03

    Answer by ajc03 at 9:07 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • My 5 year old daughter's favorite cousin is 16 and a boy. He's 11 years older than her. But that's family, so gets an exemption.

    This past summer there was a 14 year old boy over here playing with 5-10 year olds. I didn't like that, but only because that boy would make the littles do his dirty work for him, then claim innocence when they all got in trouble.

    No, I don't think I would allow the 10 or 12 year old in to play with my 6, 3, or 2 year old. If I was friendly with the parents and our families got along, I'd consider it. But you're not friendly, and don't get along, so no.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:33 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

  • It's still sibling rivalry. The younger kids are getting to do something the older sibs can't. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them competing with each other.

    I grew up in a neighborhood with kids of varying ages too, and everybody was into and out of each others's homes at all times. Had nothing to do with ages or gender but whatever seemed like was the most fun thing at the time. And if a mom was to forbid something that would only make it all the more attractive.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:44 AM on Nov. 14, 2012

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