My boyfriend and I have gone for two sessions with a relationship counselor. It seems to me like she has a strong bias toward my boyfriend and his feelings. For example, we started talking about how I want to have another baby and he doesn't, and the counselor went off on a tangent about how at my age, having a baby was a big risk--I'm 41. Or we were talking about how I didn't feel the financial arrangements we had were fair to me, and she asked if I'd paid the bils and helped out with his kids of my own free will. I said well, nobody was holding a gun to my head if that's what she meant, and she said I had to get to a place where I could see that nobody owes anybody anything in a family. But then he was saying how much more work it is to live with a blind person because of running extra errands and stuff, and having only one driver in the house, and she said she could see how that would be true. So what about nobody owes anybody anything; that's just what families do? He brought up how I wasn't all that interested in sex, and I said I couldn't help it that I didn't want it three times a week. She said well, he can't help it that he doesn't want another baby, either, and then she started getting in my head and asking if I'd always set up my relationships where I would give and give and give and then feel I was owed something in return. What about getting in his head and finding out why he has such a crazed sex drive, to the exclusion of all else? Or we were talking about how we have diffrent expectations of how to keep the house. His idea of keeping house is to kic a path that we can walk through, and that's it. My idea is closer to everything in its place, so she went into this whole spiel about how not everybody had to be as structured and detail-oriented as I am because my disability has shaped my way of setting up my world.
So, is this what counseling is supposed to be like? We don't go back till the first of December because of Thanksgiving, but I'm not sure I want to go back at all. He pretty much just sat there and didn't say anything, while the counselor picked me apart. Will it be his turn to be picked apart next time?
Answer by girlwithC at 1:37 AM on Nov. 15, 2012
Answer by gdiamante at 1:20 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by wendythewriter at 1:51 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by missanc at 1:16 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by kp0469 at 2:10 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by QuinnMae at 2:34 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by gdiamante at 1:55 AM on Nov. 15, 2012
Answer by adnilm at 2:08 PM on Nov. 14, 2012
Answer by girlwithC at 1:57 PM on Nov. 15, 2012
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