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she is driving me freaking crazy!!!

So my mom and i have always had a roc ky relationship and now that my dd is here its getting worse. She constantly tells me what im doing is wrong. Whether its how i change my dds diaper (shes nearly 8 mos) to how much food i give her at a time or my favorite i dont mix her cereal right because i put a scoop of formula in it! Anyway it is really starting to get to me especially because im a SAHM and i have a nice routine going on and when DD goes there she does things her way not mine and then tells me how much better it works! Or last night i was having a bad day in general and i was saying how DD was whiny cause her teeth are coming in and she started to explain to me how to put my daughter to bed!!! im so fed up with always being wrong and being told i dont know what im doing...please help

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Feb. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Let her say whatever she wants to say. Listen carefully. If there's a good idea to be had, use it. If not, let it go and say nothing. Stop telling her every detail of your baby's life, like the teething thing. Don't give her any ammunition to use against you. She probably thinks she is being helpful, and there's no harm in her thinking that. You just see it from another point of view. There's nothing wrong with that. You can peacefully co-exist with her as long as you don't let her get under your skin and irritate you. And you can do that!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:47 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • You need to sit down and just tell her that you are doing things your way and to please stop telling you that you are wrong. You do have to STOP it NOW!! she will get worse. Right when she starts to say anything look right at her and tell her to stop, just stop thank you but I do know what i'm doing. Good Luck
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 10:49 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • She doesn't mean it to be mean. Put yourself in her shoes in 20-30 years, is your dtr going to know everything you know? At least in your eyes. She will always see you as her little girl who needs to be told what to do, as you will probably do to your dtr, unknowingly of course. Don't damage your relationship over this, just listen and do what you want to do and remind her you gotta do it on your own. Good luck.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 11:07 AM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • My mom and I have had this problem...I load the dishwasher and she stands there moving every dish. It drives me crazy! We have over time learned to usually just respect that we each do it our way at our own houses. We lived togetherf or awhile and it drove me nuts. I have way more responsiblities and I am a single mom. She never worked so she always pays attention to little details. I usually hurry and just get stuff done. She got a job this year and she gained a lot of understanding and has started to quit obsessing over minor details. For example she won't serve dinner unless everything is in a little dish like sour cream for a potato...then expected me to do dishes. If Im doing dishes then serve it out of the carton on a week night!!!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 12:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • She might just think she's being helpful. Like when you were telling her about your daughter teething, she probably thought you were asking for advice, even if you were just venting. I know my mom follows me around with the broom when I'm cleaning and it makes me feel like she thinks I didnt do it right but I just let it go. When she starts saying her way is better just calmly tell her you tried it her way and you feel that your way works better for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:52 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I don't agree that you shouldn't say anything just to be agreeable. Let your mom know that you value her opinion, but really feel like you're constantly criticized by her. Tell her that she did a great job raising you, so you know that when you have a question, she'll be able to answer it.
    I had this talk with my mil and the criticism stopped, she had no idea I was feeling that way! Just make sure to be super sweet about it.
    MicahsMom612

    Answer by MicahsMom612 at 12:53 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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