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Dad is teaching our daughter to procrastinate on homework!

It seems my bf and I have hit yet another snag, something we don't agree on as parents. Our daughter is only in pre-K, but she usually gets one or two homework assignments a week. I want her to learn to take them seriusly. But her dad puts off helping her, or forgets, and then says it's no big deal to get the assignments done on the morning before our daughter goes to school and hands them in. He says they're short and only take a few minutes, which is true right now. If I remind him sooner, I'm nagging. But isn't he teaching our daughter to procrastinate? If she can wait on homework now, why not later? If she can dash something off in a few minutes before school now, why not later?

I'm blind and can't see the coloring pages and letter tracing activities to help her with them. The assignments I can help with, I'm right there on board for. I wrote a letter with her to a relative in another city, helped her make a turkey collage, that kind of thing. But how can I get Daddy to see that his lax attitude about homework could cause trouble later on?


Asked by Ballad at 4:10 PM on Nov. 15, 2012 in

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • Yeah, I am skeptical about the value of "homework" for preschool and definitely have strong beliefs on that score, but it sounds like that is not the issue.
    In negotiating this conflict with your boyfriend, I personally would not focus on building a case in which his present practice is a problem, a set up for problems with procrastination, etc. I wouldn't try to be convincing or right, so that he will "see the light" and cooperate out of not having a leg to stand on!
    Instead, I would clarify what is bothering me, what my worries are, and what I would like to have happen. I might do a little collaborative problem-solving if he thought something might help.
    We are dealing with homework for the first time this school year (my daughter is a 3rd grader) and also music lessons that involve practicing an instrument. I'd say mostly it's a matter of creating systems & learning new habits--both us & her (even just remembering to plan.)

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:00 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • Crafty, preschool has homework here. My kindergartner has 30 mins total per day, except weekends.

    I work with SPED kids in HS... I know for a fact that they should NOT have HW at that age and certainly NOT 30 minutes. That is not age appropriate... what is to be gained by that? It's too much, too soon. Why are we pushing kids to early in their developmental stages... it's not going to help them in the long run.

    Answer by Crafty26 at 6:27 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • Tell him the homework is short now but what about later when she has to do bigger assignments? She should have to start now getting it done and he should set the example for it. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:24 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • Crafty, preschool has homework here. My kindergartner has 30 mins total per day, except weekends.

    I agree with you Ballad. She should do it at night.

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 5:39 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • If you are putting this kind of pressure on her for pre-k she is going to explode by the time she is in High School!! Relax... it's only pre-K... why on earth do they even have HW??? WTF. The educational standard or Rule of Thumb is 10 minutes of homework/ grade. So a 1st grader should have 10 min/night, and 2nd grader 20/night... etc. So WHY on earth is a pre-school-er even having HW?? That's just too much!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 4:27 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • Well, I thought it was crazy for her to have homework, too, but the lead teacher told me it was to get kids used to the idea of handing things in, taking things home to work on and returning them, that kind of deal. The assignments usually are short, taking no more than a few minutes. But still, I think the work should be done the day it comes home, not after four days of sitting there and then hurried through on the morning she's supposed to turn it in.

    Comment by Ballad (original poster) at 5:46 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • I agree with you, Crafty. Four years old seems too soon to be doing homework. I did homework when I was a kinergartner, but it was because I had to learn to read braille, which takes a different set of skills, or some additional skills, not involved in print reading because there are lot of shorthand symbols for letter combinations like th and sh, and for full common words like the and and. But anyway, what can I do? I can't really say my daughter isn't going to do the work. It's fairly simple--this time she has to color an igloo, and do something with a picture of a turkey, not sure what yet. So it's not astronomy or algebra or anything. I just think starting good habits from the get-go would be better than trying to change procrastination behaviors later.

    Comment by Ballad (original poster) at 10:46 PM on Nov. 15, 2012

  • Relax. The preschool I work at never sends home homework. That's ridiculous.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:45 PM on Nov. 16, 2012