Do you have a friend like this???

i have this friend that will ask me do i want to go to pole dance class, ill say sure thatll be fun but she wont say anything else about it. she will ask me do you want to go on a girls weekend to white oaks, ill say sure when are we going, she wont say anything else about it. she asked me to make a dish for a shower, um you guessed it she never mentioned it again. last year february she said im in a book club and i want you to join, i asked her a few times and she keeps making things up, ok now whats really going on? if i ask her about anything that she has mentioned she will either not answer my email or start talking about something else. i dont understand why she does that. why ask me if you never follow through? i dont know??

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Asked by rosesrred1 at 9:28 AM on Nov. 16, 2012 in Relationships

1779 Level 14

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she would not be my friend anymore. thankfully i haven't had a friend like that.

Answer by gwen20 at 2:34 PM on Nov. 16, 2012
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Maybe she is wishy washy and can't really commit to anything so she asks you and then decides she doesn't want to. It soulnds like a serious lack of confidence and committment. The baby shower thing could be she was going to throw it and then did not feel up to the task.

Answer by Dardenella at 1:44 PM on Nov. 16, 2012
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Yeah, I did. However, it got to be too much. I started doubting myself; that somehow, I was the reason that she wasn't following through with plans. I took a step back and thought that this was no way to be, so I pulled back from her. When I see her, we still chat, but it's distanced.

Answer by Chocolatespring at 1:28 PM on Nov. 16, 2012
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When she asks you these questions do you follow up? Maybe she is just checking to see if you might be interested?
Funny that she never follows up, possibly ADHD? (:

Answer by madmueller at 1:05 PM on Nov. 16, 2012
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Yes, she has bad anxiety, so she asks me to do things with her but then her anxiety gets the better of her and she won't bring it up again. I've learned to just not take anything she says seriously because I know she won't really go.

Answer by sunshineemommy at 12:15 PM on Nov. 16, 2012
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No. I did used to have a friend that would make plans with several people for the same time and day and as that date would approach she would pick the activity that sounded like the most fun and then would flake on everyone else. She learned to make decisions when people stopped trying to make plans with her.

Answer by QuinnMae at 10:25 AM on Nov. 16, 2012
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That is weird as hell. I would do to her what she does to you. When she emails you back not answering your question I would email her back and NOT respond to whatever she said but ask again about the book club or what you are currently reading but DO NOT respond to anything she says. In conversation just keep changing the subject like she does and don't respond to anything she says. When she asks why are you doing this just explain you doing exactly what she does to you.

Answer by booklover545 at 10:01 AM on Nov. 16, 2012
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No but I do have friends that are flaky in other ways and I've decided that while their flakiness is obnoxious they are still good friends that I don't want to lose, so I simply accept them for the way that they are and when thinks come up I am prepared for them to flake so when they do it does not bother me as much. I simply agree to do whatver with them and let it be. If it happens great, if not, no harm no foul.

Answer by maecntpntz219 at 9:53 AM on Nov. 16, 2012
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Maybe ideas are her strong suit, is execution yours? Maybe you could run with her ideas and make them happen.

Answer by adnilm at 9:49 AM on Nov. 16, 2012
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What does she say when you ask her why she asks you if she isn't going to follow through?

Some people are just like that. If it bothers you that much, either take the initiative to make the plans of *whatever* yourself or dump her as a friend.

Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 9:35 AM on Nov. 16, 2012
Credits: 59853 Level 33 Relationships Major

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