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why doesnt he just marry me???

okay heres the thing...... my bf and i dated for like 4 years, before i got pregnant with my 1st baby....... so we got married at the courthouse but everything was so tense.... we felt like we HAD to get married.... we were really young just out of high school...... so we had a lot of problems, got a divorce........ i was a single mom for more then a year.... he never saw the baby or anything.... so when he finally came around, after a while we came back together again..... we moved in together, and had another baby....... its been a couple of years now, and he still doesnt think much of marriage......but you know, were doing really good this time around.....and the reasonable thing to do, at least for me, is to get married....again..... you know how much it means for a woman to have a wedding and all..... i have talked to him about it, but he always tries to ignore the subject or just answer with a "not yet"...what do u think

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:59 PM on Feb. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Marriage, Divorce...thats hard for a guy. He is probably scared of loosing you again. I wouldn't push it. If you are doing GREAT I would leave it alone. It's just paper. Maybe buy a new ring or something for the commitment.

    Good Luck
    racingmomma

    Answer by racingmomma at 1:02 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • my x and i had dd 1 year after we were together but in all were together 7 years.and never married. when i would bring it up he did the same ignored it. or not now. in the end i knew he didnt want to. i was young and over the years i grew up and realized i wanted to get married someday in the end we grew apart. i ended up leaving him. were still friends and i have moved on and im celebrating my 4 year anniversary tomorrow ( yeahh ) and im happy no regretes im thankful i dint marry him and thankful that were still friends. its hard but after awhile you have to make a decision. me and x ended up more like roomates then fiences ( i had a ring )
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • You can't force the "wedding" onto a person. I can understand why you would want to be married to him. But I don't really understand why you would've gotten a divorce in the first place? I have been with my husband now for 7 years and we will be married for 1 year this July. We started dating my freshman year of highschool, and had our baby 7 months after I graduated. We deffinately have had our UPS and DOWNS... More downs than ups... I think that if you are truly dedicated to him; as he is to you... Then you will wait until he is "ready" to get married (if that day ever comes).. Maybe he is just afraid of what may come of being married again, seeing as how you 2 already have been divorced? I wouldn't push the issue on him though, that may even make him back down even more... Good Luck.. Just wait it out, and see what comes of it...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:15 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I THINK HE WANTS TO HAVE THE OPTION TO LEAVE IF IT GETS TOO UNCOMFORTABLE AGAIN WITHOUT ANY TROUBLE OR THE PROCESS OF A DIVORCE. ITS EASY. SO, I DONT THINK HE WILL MARRY U AGAIN BECAUSE U ALLOWED HIM TO HAVE WHAT HE WANTS WITHOUT REQUIRING HIM TO DO WHAT U NEEDED FROM HIM. SO, ALL U CAN DO NOW IS TO TELL HIM HOW U FEEL AND DECIDE IF IT IS GOOD ENOUGH TO STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO WILL LIVE AND MAKE BABIES WITH U BUT NOT MARRY U. ITS YOUR CHOICE TO DECIDE IF U CAN SETTLE FOR THIS OR EXPLAIN THAT U NEED A RING OR U WILL LEAVE. ITS UP TO U HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO U, NOW. U HAVE CHILDREN. I DONT BLAME U FOR WANTING THE PROTECTION A MARRIAGE WOULD GIVE U. SO, GIVE IT A TRY AND C WHAT HAPPENS. U CAN ALWAYS CHANGE YR MIND AND STAY. BUT IF U WANT HM TO MARRY U DONT THREATEN TO LEAVE AND THEN NOT GO. HE WILL NEVER MARRY U THEN. GOOD LUCK.
    emily1234

    Answer by emily1234 at 10:53 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

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