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Im stressed and going through things I feel crazy VENT

So when we moved into our place 2years ago we agreed to have my dh mom move in with us I didn't think any thing of it because weave lived with her before. Ive always loved her we've never had a problem until recently. I suffer for social anxiety disorder I have to admit that when I'm not entirely comfortable with someone I tend to get a bit nerves and instead of showing others what I'm going though I tend to shy off to myself. even though I've know her for about 7 years I'm still not completely comfortable with her so at first I thought maybe her actions were due to my quietness which I don't really mean it has nothing to do with her. But recently Ive been noticing little things like when I talk to her she tends to not listen to me or change the subject she try's to throw nice hints to me which actually feels like hurtful hints that my way of doing things is wrong. She tells my daughter she can do things I tell her she may not. I feel like I have no control over my home my dh is just the same. Its getting to the point where I feel like I would rather be happy with my kids in my own spot I mean I cant even decorate my own home. I love my husband he does take care of us but I need a piece of mind I would like to raise my kids the way I want to I would like to make decisions in my house hold thats mines!!!! What do you think??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on Nov. 18, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Family meeting!!
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 11:26 PM on Nov. 18, 2012

  • ugh. I couldn't take it. my brother in law was in my house for a week. he was quiet nice etc. but I wanted to choke him and or my husband. I was pregnant and the stress was too much... I have had other experiences similar where I did not feel comfortable in my own home. that is not acceptable. you must speak up for yourself. don't make assumptions about mils intentions. just state how it needs to go down going forward with the kids and decor and whatever else. if you can't find space in your house, take yourself somewhere you like... spa, library, museum, coffeehouse
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 11:46 PM on Nov. 18, 2012

  • I agree with Staci. Time to sit down with your husband and his mom and set some ground rules, or the situation may quickly get out of control. Be firm on the fact that you are the mom, and the kids may not go around you and ask their grandma for things you said no to. Find yourself some personal space. I know what you're going through; it was an enormous adjustment to go from living on my own to having others in my home again, even others I love dearly. You'll get through this, but you need to be clear about your boundaries or you'll feel resentful and uncomfortable under your own roof. That's not acceptable.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:27 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • For you to be on the opposite side of this I feel your hurt. She see's you as passive, that's the only reason why she would blatantly disrespect you in front of you. I know you have a disorder that may halt you from speaking up but hunnie you have to say something. Have you spoken to your dh about this? Let him know how you feel..
    MsViv

    Answer by MsViv at 12:45 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • why are you not allowed to decorate your home?
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:45 PM on Nov. 18, 2012

  • I know many grandmothers who are like that. I can relate, but it's not his mom that acts like that, it's my mom. While we have never lived with my mom as a family we did stay with her for for a few weeks due to repairs and I noticed that when my dh is around she will not dare come out her mouth like that. When she asks to come over I will make up an excuse that I already had plans. While she doesn't comment on his parenting style she just makes annoying comments like 'didn't you tell him i'm comming over? how come he hasn't come upstairs yet (from basement) to say hi' 'How come he hasn't offered to come over and mow my lawn, what kind of man is that' It's VERY annoying and no matter how many times I tell her to cut the shit she continues to do it. 


     

    MsViv

    Answer by MsViv at 12:44 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Yes get it out in the open before it gets worse, make sure everyone knows their limits. You can do it and you will feel better.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 12:41 AM on Nov. 20, 2012

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