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If you had a family member that you never saw or spoke to the other 364 days out of the year,would you be mad if they turned down your invite to Thanksgiving dinner?

My husband's family doesn't really have anything to do with us. That's fine with us. I've actually ran into my MIL and my husband's aunt at Dollar Tree and had them ignore me when I tried to engage them in conversation.Yet when we tell them we're having our own dinner at home and won't be travelling the 2 hours to his cousin's house that day,they get pissed.
Seriously? What makes them think we'd want to spend the day with them when we never see or her from them any other day of the year?


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 7:54 AM on Nov. 19, 2012 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (23)
  • I'm with you on this! Why spend time with people that you have no interest in being with and they have no interest in being with you.

    Answer by ChrissyL90 at 7:57 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Not at all.. you don't need that type of negativity in your life.. family or not. They say blood is thicker than water but that's not always the case.

    Answer by MsViv at 7:59 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Who knows? They probably think that if you all turn up at the same place on the holidays that all is well with the family, despite the fact that they do nothing to actually interact on a regular basis. I have to drive two hours to be at my brother's on Thanksgiving and it is a chore and I am crazy about my family. I can't imagine doing it for family that didn't treat me right!

    Answer by tessiedawg at 8:00 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • I agree... I don't see why people think that holidays are the only time when family comes around. My immediate family and I are always around each other in some form, so we all love the holidays. But for someone to get so upset when they can't even take the time through the year to see or talk to you... that's just nonsense!

    I wouldn't be upset... don't let them ruin your day!

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 9:16 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • We have some members of our family who are just like this, and it's pretty hard for me to get too excited about seeing them. These folks are closer than cousins, and the only time they want to act like family is at Christmastime. I don't make any plans with them. If somebody else in the family makes plans, I go and act politely, but to be honest, I would rather stay home. I do not invite them to my house. I'd much rather cook and invite folks who don't have any family and who would be glad to have a nice home-cooked meal. I have never understood this mentality and don't think I ever will. I don't even try!

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:05 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • I'm with you on this one. It would be quite hypocrytical to actually go to their place just because it's Thanksgiving. I wouldn't go either.

    Answer by ajc03 at 8:37 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • If someone avoids having conversation with you, then Thanksgiving should never be an issue.

    Answer by SWasson at 9:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • That's too bad that people have to act that way. Just tell them at least with you not being there, they will be able to discuss you all behind your backs, like they probably do the other 364 days. That's your gift to them this year! And be thankful you have avoided the negativity for the day.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:39 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • I feel if you keep in touch throughout the year, and the Holidays are the only time you can see each other, then it's worth it. But..... If they don't make it a point to stay in touch, then what's the point of wasting your time going to their house, feeling uncomfortable, just for the sake of it...... I agree with you. I wouldn't bother either. I'm glad you asked this question, it just settled an argument I was having with myself over the past few weeks.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:00 AM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Man, I would KILL to live even that close to ANY family :/ Closest family lives about 1000 miles away. But then again, our families are pretty close and don't treat each other that way.

    *hugs* and I don't blame you for not wanting to go! I wouldn't either if that's the way I was treated!

    Answer by hopeandglory53 at 10:44 AM on Nov. 19, 2012