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4 Bumps

are multiple Flirtatious chats with different ex girlfriends consider cheating?

been married for 5 years.I noticed him acting strange, I checked his FB page and I saw messages between him and 3 other girls (exe’s) the content was non-sexual just flirtatious and in one he was even asking for one of his ex gf phone number. He is very affectionate but he never gives me compliments and when I read those messages and he was giving those girls so many compliments it hurt my feelings so much that I confronted him. I forgave him and deleted his fb account, months later I find out that he had opened another fb account using another name, One day he left his phone home, since I already suspected something was wrong, I saw he had been chatting with a girl from his hometown. It was like a relationship because they used to chat everyday for a couple of weeks & exchanged phone numbers. Noow i find he contacted her again using his cousins FBaccount, trying to get her tel number.Now I am thinking of separatin.


Asked by b3tray3dwif3 at 1:54 PM on Nov. 19, 2012 in Relationships

Level 2 (12 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • You don't need to ask other people about what's considering cheating. No one else is in the relationship but you so only your opinion matters. Try to start seeing it from this perspective because otherwise, you're giving the control of what defines trust and a relationship to other people who don't matter. Every person is unique. What works for one may not work for another. You already have given reasons why you don't trust him, and once broken, trust is hard to regain. Think about where your limits are. How many times will you allow trust to be broken before giving up? There's no right answer, just your answer. It sound though that you're tired of having to deal with these trust issues. What makes you afraid of leaving? Have you been on your own before? Why does it scare you now? What are you worth? What would your choices teach him? You can't make someone be trustworthy no matter how much you want him to be.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 3:26 AM on Nov. 20, 2012

  • To me, anything you have to hide from your SO/DH, or they hide from you, is a form of cheating. This sounds very wrong to me...

    Answer by Nimue930 at 2:05 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • do it. texas style.

    What an asshole.

    I mean, yeah if there are kids involved you can try to work it out- but I would go for shock factor and leave now- even if you intend to come back.

    This makes me so mad.

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:57 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • If he felt the need to hide it, yes it's cheating. If it's not something he would do in front of you, it's cheating. If it hurt your feeling, its cheating. You need to call him out on his bullshit and let him know it's not acceptable, and that you will not tolerate it.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 2:06 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Another bad FB issue.
    He is a huge prick for doing that & yes I consider that cheating since he is hiding shit from you.
    I wouldn't trust him anymore so therefore that would make staying together very difficult & pointless with a lot of hurt.
    You don't deserve that B.S.

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 2:32 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Time to dump his ass. The fact that he has done it multiple times with multiple girls is a sure sign that he will not change and his behavior will continue to escalate. If he hasn't slept with someone else already, he will, it is just a matter of time.

    Answer by theMOMmission at 2:13 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Very disrespectful..

    Answer by mommys2cupcakes at 2:15 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • kick his ass to the curb. He lied and is I consider that cheating if he did it behind your back and went out of his way to hide it from you. Its emotional cheating

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:21 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Hiding is cheating.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • I also had a similar situation and I talk to him and he stop asking for anything in fb. I want to think that it solved the issue for now...well see but men are so bad and the truth is that you should talk to him, made him stop and if he still keeps doing that dont even think twice to leave him. He doesnt deserve your love at all. Better without him. Good luck but do talk to him first and if he really loves you demand the respect that you deserve.

    Answer by maleik at 11:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2012