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3 Bumps

Having the sex discussion with my son and his gf

I tried speaking with the girl's mother the other day regarding our children probably having sex. Is it my cup of tea to talk about? No. They are 16, these things are bound to happen. I have had sex talks with my son and he has come to me since he has started dating this girl. He told me that she wants to have sex with him. He told her that he did not have condoms and that he was still a virgin. She wanted to have sex still but he told her that he wasn't ready to be a father. While I am proud my son took a stance against pressures from his gf I am also very worried that her mother has not had a good talk with her or that she simply doesn't want to take the advice. I have spoken to her mother about this. She said that her daughter does not have sex and that she is too young for this sort of talk. Okay, she's in denial. It's not this girl's fault that her mom refuses to see her as a young adult who may face theses challenges. Am I overstepping my boundaries in sitting down with both of them and have a sex talk?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:36 PM on Nov. 19, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (14)
  • That's a tough one. You've already approached the mother & got shot down. You do communicate well with your son & already know how her mother feels on this issue. I wouldn't talk to the girl if I were you. You will just have to trust your son to be responsible. GL

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • It is your job to talk to your son about not getting that girl pregnant. that's all. It is not your job to talk to the girl about keeping her legs closed to your son.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:42 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • I'm so glad I have many years before I have to deal with this issue. I wouldn't talk to the girl, since her mother is against it. I would, however, leave some condoms in you son's dresser drawer.
    texasgurl33

    Answer by texasgurl33 at 5:43 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • You would be way out of bounds having this talk with another person's child, especially since the mother has already made her wishes clear.

    All you can do is continue to educated your son
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 6:12 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • Although I have already begun talking to my oldest about sex (and I only have boys), I would say no, don't talk to the girl. I would be seriously pissed off if another parent took it upon themselves to talk to my child about sex. Your values might be very different from hers - obviously, they are or this would not be happening - and I know I would not want someone else imparting their values about sex to my child.

    Just keep talking to your son, keep reminding him to stand his ground and not give in to her, and of the potential consequences, and of course, that if he does decide to have sex, he needs to use a condom. Or 10. lol
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:24 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • I'd talk to her and risk the backlash
    Better safe then sorry
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:31 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • How old are these kids? My answer would depend on their age
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:40 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • She said they are 16.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:59 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • It would be overstepping yourself to talk to the girl. She is not your child. I don't agree with the mom not talking to her, at 16 that is ridiculous, but it is her choice. Just keep the communication open with your son.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 7:03 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

  • While her Mother should be able to talk openly with her daughter about sex, its not your role to take it upon yourself to do it for her, even though she is dating your son. If I was you I would surely be stepping up your talks with you son though, thats your main concern. I wish parents would realise they are doing their children a disservice not openly communicating about these things, and seems like its always parents that are so sure their child isnt having sex that have the children who are instigating sex, people need to wake up, its part of a parents role.

    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 10:18 PM on Nov. 19, 2012

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