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If you knew someone was lying about something, would you confront them immediately or wait until the right moment?

I recently learned that a friend of mine, whom I met on CafeMom, has lied about the death of her child. I became a little suspicious when she mentioned she was a month pregnant already and her daughter was only 3 weeks old and had passed away after 6 days. I did a little digging and found out she didn't have a daughter at the hospital she claimed she did nor could I find any information concerning the child's death in the public records. I feel like an ass for double-checking but I'm glad that I did. My question is do I confront her now or do I wait for her to slip up even more and have more evidence to prove her lying?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 11, 2009 in About CafeMom

Answers (10)
  • I would email her with the evidence you have and tell her you know she lied and that she should give it up or you will tell others.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:14 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Let her dig her own grave. If you don't like it, just stop talking to her. Keep any conversations to a minimum.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 2:14 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • If you know she's lying now, confront her now.
    If you are sure of your facts, why wait for more? Discuss it with her now.
    BonesDragonDew

    Answer by BonesDragonDew at 2:14 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • i personally wouldnt even mention or talk to her again. its one thing to lie but to lie about the death of a child is aweful. JMO
    SThompson21

    Answer by SThompson21 at 2:16 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Well, wait, are you very close with her? Do you see her outside of cafemom? Or is it just an online friendship. If it's an online friendship only, then I would leave it alone. If it's more than that, I would confront her.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 2:16 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • THIS IS THE OP:
    I talk to her on the phone every day (except for today) and we've become pretty close. She talks to my kids when they are home from school and we've been mailing letters back and forth with CDs and other such items along with the letters. So, I would think we formed a pretty close bond. We've been talking to each other for about a year now.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • i would let it be and her too. why would someone lie about something like that.
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 2:22 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • it's obvious that she isn't healthy mentally. I might bring it up but by asking why and if there is something you could do to help her....ie: find a good mental health professional...etc. Normal healthy people don't make those sort of things up.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 2:26 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Yes you should bring it up immediately in case it is a misunderstanding. In the case of misundestanding, it would be a terrible shame to let any more time go while feeling these suspicions and confusion. If the end result is the immediate break up of your friendship because you are bringing it up, that's no different from breaking up the friendship some time in the future, except that you'll be able to put it behind you sooner. And if it is a misundering, get it out in the open and go back to enjoying the friendship.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:07 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • If you were my friend, I'd feel pretty violated that you did all of that digging instead of just asking me to clarify. I'd want to know why you felt it was your business and what you felt would change by calling me a liar or trying to find out the "truth" behind my back. If you're going to say something to her, make it based off of the things she's told you that don't add up. I wouldn't mention all of the digging you've done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

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