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Feeling Guilty is it Normal

I took birth control after I gave birth because of pressure from my doctor and it seriously messed up my milk supply. I feel so guilty because I'm not even making 4oz a day and now I have to supplement with formula. I've tried everything to get my supply back but I can't and I feel so guilty and so very sad and depressed and like I don't work right and am just useless. Is this normal? Breastfeeding was really special for my daughter and I and now I can't do it. I even tried to start nursing again to up the supply and she couldn't get anything. I feel so devastated and my husband doesn't understand why.

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xHeiligx

Asked by xHeiligx at 10:34 AM on Nov. 21, 2012 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 13 (953 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Four ounces a day pumping isn't that bad, actually. And what you pump is honestly meaningless anyway. My breastfeeding mentor couldn't even pump one drop but nursed twins.

    What's the diaper count when you don't use formula? That's ALL that matters, nothing else. By your profile baby is about three months, so about 5-6 changes per day is all we need to see.

    Knowing that, tell me how you're really doing.

    And no guilt unless you murder something. No need to feel guilty. You CAN get ANGRY at your doc, not guilty. Be PISSED. Fire the doc and tell your friends to stay far away. You have no cause for guilt, lots of cause to be pissed.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:35 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • The only thing I can say is get off the bc and nurse like crazy weather she gets any or not and pump like a mad man you might beable to make it happen
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 10:40 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • You should talk to your doctor. It sounds like you may be suffering from post-mortem depression since it is affecting your life this way.
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:46 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • ^^ post-partum.

    Good luck!
    anng.atlanta

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:47 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • Don't feel guilty! I have 5 kids. I nursed the older 4 for approximately a year each. My 5th I could only nurse for 6 months due to supply issues. My bond with her is no different than it is with my older 4. She is also at least as healthy as my older 4 too - she's been sick once in her two years.
    Breast feeding is great and I'm a huge advocate, but sometimes it doesn't work and that's okay.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 10:53 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • I have been pumping like crazy and everything. This is different from post-partum. I'm not just depressed I'm really happy I'm depressed about not being able to feed her I'm not in anyway dangerous.
    xHeiligx

    Comment by xHeiligx (original poster) at 10:59 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • Big Hugs mama! You are normal. With my oldest I was on medications because of complications from the surgery, my blood pressure and a kidney infection, I wasn't allowed to nurse...and I had a c-section, so I didn't give birth naturally.....tons of guilt. With my second, my milk never came in, I tried for 6 weeks, but never got enough milk.....and another c-section...more guilt. With my third son, another c-section, and I was able to nurse, but only for a few weeks. Still felt guilty and so inadequate.

    I have three beautiful, healthy adult sons. Unlike I was told, not nursing didn't hurt my bond with them, nor did they get sick more often than my friends children who were nursed. In fact, they were rarely ill.

    Love and enjoy your baby, be the best mommy you can be. Your baby will be just fine, and so will your relationship with your baby.

    Congratulations and best wishes!
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:01 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • What you can pump is no indicator of what you're actually producing.

    She's at an age where your sense of "fullness" naturally decreases and you'll feel as though you have less of a supply than you actually do. When in fact, your supply would naturally be leveling off.

    The "mini pill" does not have as drastic an impact on supply as regular BC, try switching. If all else fails, quit taking oral BC and use barrier methods. (the BC will also trigger depression)

    Supplementing only further sabotages your supply, because you're lessening the demand.

    Even mothers of adopted babies who have never given birth can build a healthy and abundant milk supply, DO NOT GIVE UP. This is a correctable problem.

    You have no reason to feel guilt. None. You have every reason in the world to be mad as hell at your physician for sabotaging you.
    Find a new physician. Call LLL, get some support. YOU CAN DO THIS!

    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:50 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • Also check out "Best Fed Babies" on FB. They can get you in-home licensed lactation consultant help via the web. They're an awesome group of women.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:52 AM on Nov. 21, 2012

  • First thing is if you want to get your supply back then buy a supplemental nursing system and start using that to feed the formula. Without stimulation the body does not know to make more milk and giving a bottle does NOT stimulate more production. Using a SNS does stimulate more production.

    Second pump output is no indication of how much you are producing and at this point the "full" feeling should be gone any way. Just because you are only getting 4 ounces pumping does not mean your LO is not getting enough.

    Third count diapers to see if your LO is getting enough. You should be getting 5-6 disposable diapers a day (more if cloth).

    Finally get off the regular pill and consider the mini pill or a barrier method until you get your supply back or are done nursing.
    aeneva

    Answer by aeneva at 12:39 PM on Nov. 21, 2012

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