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5 Bumps

I'm just tired

It seems like i do something nice, took the kids out to dinner, we never go out to eat & tonight the dryer breaks. I'm so tired and it seems like when i do something nice i pay for it.
Sick of crying, tired of trying. Yeah, i'm smiling but inside i'm dying.
I don't go out, don't drink, don't smoke, have a good job, do for my children - who seem to walk all over me at times as well.
I'm just so tired of being what i'm suppost to be. I've been alone for years because 8 thought raising my kids is more important.
But i'm tired of always being pushed back down.
I'm tired of having no friends and no real family.
I just want to give up. Whats the point in trying to keep doing the right things?
Everyone seems so fake to me, yeah i could try to share with someone and i'd get those fake smiles and fake we're here for you - for a few weeks, maybe even a month but everyone goes back to thier lives and 8 go back into my rut.
I don't smoke or drink and that seems to be an issue with everyone 8 know. Even the people from out church. I'm the out-casted one because of it.
I don't understand.
I just don't get it.
I do what is suppost to be right and still get kick back down, time and time again.
So, is going out to the bars the answer? Going out sleeping around?

Honestly, i don't have money for that and don't understand where most do.

Why? I just don't understand.
This is more or a rant than a question - thanks for reading.
Guess i'll get some sleep i have responsabilites tomorrow - won't want to scew up!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:34 AM on Nov. 25, 2012 in

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I understand how you feel about the drinking and smoking, I never have either and it seems like I have no friends now because of it. My dh is my one and only best friend since my BFF moved across the country. I couldn't imagine doing it alone though so I really feel for you. Its important to do stuff for yourself to keep your sanity and your spirits up but I also totally get the no money thing... Hopefully one day your kids will look back on everything that you sacrificed and really truly appreciate you for it :-/ No real advice to offer except hang in there, and prayers coming your way...who knows maybe you'll win the Powerball and all your problems will be taken care of ;-)
    DreainCO

    Answer by DreainCO at 11:25 AM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • Hugs, first priority is get rid of your SO. You seem like you can take care of yourself & kids just fine without him. Find a Man who is worthy of your love since that is what you deserve. Life is so much better spent with someone who loves you. Seek & you will find! GL!
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 7:53 AM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • Love you! Hang in there.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 4:06 AM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • How old are your kids? If they are teens. It is time to get a life of your own.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:31 AM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • hugsgroup hug Hang in there, get some rest & hopefully tomorrow is a better day.  Start delegating some of the chores & try to make some time for yourself.  If mommy's happy then everyone's happy- ya know. :)

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:42 AM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • Rest and re access your goals.
    Sarah961

    Answer by Sarah961 at 10:27 PM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • I know how you feel. Try to take some time for yoursel. A book club or a long walk in the evening. Or just go to some shops you enjoy and walk around. Maybe the church you are involved in is not the right one for you.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 3:49 PM on Nov. 27, 2012

  • I have no SO, I've been alone for years.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:26 AM on Nov. 25, 2012

  • awww
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 2:49 PM on Dec. 5, 2012