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5 Bumps

Have you ever been attracted to another man? :/ Please no bashing!

Before everyone starts judging, I love my SO with all my heart! There is no one I would rather be with, and I feel SO GUILTY about this. The other night he invited his friend over and I was shocked at how attracted I was to him. He's extremely smart and dreadfully good looking. I behaved myself of course, and I actually felt uncomfortable the entire night. But found myself thinking about him the next day like a sappy little school girl. What the heck! Has this ever happened to anyone? Like I said before, I love my SO very much, and would never intentionally do anything to sacrifice our relationship.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Nov. 26, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • LOL! When you get married, you don't go blind. This happens all the time! There's nothing to feel guilty about.

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 1:59 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • Yes, when I was much younger, totally normal, don't fret over it, nothing to feel guilty about, I am sure your husband has felt it too.....

    Answer by older at 2:01 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • Yes, crushes are normal. As long as you don't act on them, you're good. Like the PP said "you don't just go blind".

    Answer by 3libras at 2:02 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • I am married not dead. I have been attracted to another man but not to the extent you describe. Iwould try not to be around him.

    Answer by Dardenella at 2:13 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • This can happen to anyone at anytime. Its just a fact of life, and I think it has more to do with pheromones than anything else. Some people just attract us, without any real reason. When my dh and I got married, we were (are) middle aged, and we knew the score (so to speak) on these kinds of crushes, so we agreed that if this happened we would just cop to it with the other one. They are just meaningless attractions, and the best way for NOTHING to happen is to tell your dh/so that you think some guy is hot. It kills the romance of the attraction and keeps everyone honest. Im not suggesting this for you, because I dont know what kind of relationship you have with your guy, but it works for us. But dont feel guilty.... these things just happen.

    Answer by Nimue930 at 2:22 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • Here is my experience with this: Don't act on it. See it through and usually, usually, there is some abhorrent trait that comes out with this hot man that you learn about later. It is usually off putting enough to squash the attraction. If not, you're screwed. : )

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 2:33 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • Of course. I've never acted on them.

    Answer by Izsarejman at 2:43 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else. It's natural and we are human. It's what you do with that attraction that matters.

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 3:37 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • yes its very normal for anyone at any age to feel this way don't feel bad... nothing wrong with little fantasies.


    Answer by mellyhayes at 5:51 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

  • It happens. Don't beat yourself up about it, you haven't done anything to feel bad about. Now, distract yourself from thoughts of the guy for a few days until the glow wears off, and go on with your life.

    Answer by SWasson at 5:54 PM on Nov. 26, 2012

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