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Would you choose a city that's better for you or a city that's better for your child?

I am planning on moving next year. However, I am having difficulties on choosing what city I relocate to. One city would be better for me, because of more job opportunities within my field, cheaper housing cost, cheaper school expenses, and better weather. However, the other city that I'm interested in would be better for my son. Even though there are less jobs within my field in this other city [other than substitute teaching, which is probably equal opportunities for both cities], there is a less unemployment rate. It's better education opportunities for him, its more diverse [more people that are African American like him], and there are more churches he can attend for spiritual fullfillment. So, this is why I am asking for opinions from other cafemoms. Would you choose a city that's better for you or a city that's better for your child?

Answer Question
 
Diamond2010

Asked by Diamond2010 at 4:06 PM on Nov. 29, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,306 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I city that is good for the whole family is ideal. If you want diversity why do you want to surround him with his own color?
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 4:13 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • Will you be able to get a job and provide for him in the second city? If so, I would go with that one. If you won't be able to get a job, or only get a job that barely gets you by then I would go with the first city.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 4:14 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • If it is solely between those two decisions, my child always (ALWAYS) wins out
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 4:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • It would depend on the age of my child. If my kid was at an age where a lot ofhis support would be coming from outside the home ie: community, church, school, extracurricular events, etc then I wouls choose a place that offered the healthiest selection possible. Too many kids get into trouble because their choices are too limited, too unhealthy, etc. If I had the lyxury ofchoosing, I would do just that.
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 4:17 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • If your standard of living can remain the same, regardless of which city you pick, I would then choose the city with better education.
    hootie826

    Answer by hootie826 at 4:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • Thanks for answering flowersmama. What I mean by diverse is there are more of a variety of cultures. In the other city, the percentage of minorities is low. Its not really important, but it can help with self-confidence and self-esteem if he sees more people that are the same ethnicity as him.
    Diamond2010

    Comment by Diamond2010 (original poster) at 4:20 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • Okay I see what you mean
    flowersmama

    Answer by flowersmama at 4:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • Depends. If I can get a better job, live in a better neighborhood, and give him a better life that pretty much IS better for him. Education is obviously important so I would want an area with good schools, but I wouldn't consider the diversity of the population to be a benefit to him (and my son is biracial). I think job opportunity is probably the most important, considering that's the foundation for being able to provide a good life for him.
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 4:59 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • Financial stability means a lot to me, and I think it's very important for my child too. I would apply to jobs in both cities and only move once I get a good offer with long-term potential. And regarding the environment... Honestly unless the difference is HUGE, I wouldn't sweat it too much. I've found that life usually works out even in less than perfect situations. Things that matter to me are more about what would be good for all of us - like job opportunities so we are safe or good schools so neither of us are frustrated for the rest of his school days.
    Sebbiemama

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 5:24 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • Is there a particular reason those two cities are the only choices? I mean, is this what you've narrowed it down to after much looking, or is there some specific reason for only sticking with these two?

    As far as the benefits to each - financial stability is the most critical to me. Without financial stability, without a way to put a roof over your heads and food in your mouths, nothing else really matters. And the stress that comes with not being able to do those things would far outweigh any potential benefits to either of you. I like Sebbie's suggestion: apply in both cities and move wherever you get a good offer with decent pay, benefits and long term potential.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:51 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

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