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2 Bumps

when is the age to talk to your kid about sex

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Asked by lyndieanne at 8:56 PM on Nov. 29, 2012 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • My parents never told me. I was six when the neighbor girl told me about sex. I did not understand it. At 11, it finally sunk in... I think 11 is good for a girl.... Never 6. I learned all i needed from my BF... Ugh. It was more than enought...that and watching kinda figure it out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Dec. 28, 2012

  • It is an ongoing conversation that is age appropriate

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:45 PM on Dec. 11, 2012

  • kitty bitty, I disagree. KNowing about sex at a young age does not equate to having sex at a young age. If a child is taught not just about the act of sex, but the consquences and responsiblities that come with it and if they feel that their questions can be asked and handled with honesty and respect, they are at less risk.

    I honestly don't think my then 9 year old son was ready for a sex talk. However, my then-9 year old had questions about things he'd been hearing. Not being honest with him would have created major issues long term. I do my best to answer honestly and in an age appropriate manner. I also told him that there would be things that might be a little uncomfortable to ask about, but he should always know that any of 'his adults' (aka me, dh, grandparents...) are ready to hear him out and answer his questions at any time - always honestly and with respect.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:50 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • There are a few factors to consider. Does the school curriculum include basic sex ed in it's curriculm. If so, what grade? Your talk should come before that.

    More importantly, is your child asking questions? Do you think he/she has the maturity to handle specific topics? Is there reason to think he/she is on the cusp of puberty and any physical maturity?

    We began to talk to DS about puberty at the end of 3rd grade. He was almost 9 at the time. At that point talk was focused on the changes his body would be undergoing in the years ahead. Last year, in 4th grade, there was a group of kids getting heading into some fairly suggestive topics. DS came home with questions that opened the door to a basic sex talk. At the end of this year (5th grade) his health curriculm does cover puberty, physical development, reproductive systems and sex. We'll talk more prior to the school coverage, during and after.

    Answer by ldmrmom at 11:42 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

  • I disagree. Knowing about sex doesn't make children want to try it. The children who get a decent sex education are those who wait longest to lose their virginity because they know haw serious it is. The ones at risk are those who only get sketchy information or none at all and are driven by curiosity.

    I also think you are fooling yourself if you think you know all of her thoughts ...

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:17 AM on Dec. 1, 2012

  • You are right Anonymous, but in our society it is not an odd thing. I know all about my daughter's activities and thoughts. At proper time i told her all about sex or pregnancy. In your society, a child aged 11 or 12 yrs know all about sex etc so they want to experience themselves hence they become parents without any legal relationship.

    Answer by kity-bity at 12:24 PM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • If you think that your daughter aged 16 knows nothing abouit sex, pregnancy or childbirth youi are fooling yourself. If you don't give her REAL information she's going to believe all of the crap she hears from her peers at school. This includes such nuggets as "you can't get pregnant the first time" and "you can't get pregnant if you have sex standing up". Wake up and do something about this NOW preferably before you become a grandmother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • I told my DDs about menses when they were about 11 years, but I've not yet told them about sex and they even don't know about pregnancy or child birth. May be my 2nd DD knows something for she is fond of reading magazines. But elder DD (16yrs) doesn't know.

    Answer by kity-bity at 1:03 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • If your child is nine I would say that you should have started the preliminaries already. If your child is a girl, you might want to give her that talk soon. If you mean relationships, then as soon as you see any change of interest, and I mean noticing that the other sex is cute or interesting rather than stupid or gross.

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:42 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

  • What I have done with my kids is give them the age appropriate talks..
    When they were 5 I told them only what a 5 year old needed to hear..more than that, and it would be teaching them out of their comfort zone.
    I have always told them whatever they wanted to hear. I felt if they are asking, rather than have somebody else putting things in their minds it would be better to hear it from me. My husband on the other hand, his mother gave them a book on the birds and bees rather than teach them! I just would never do that with my boys

    Answer by madmueller at 10:19 PM on Nov. 29, 2012

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