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3 Bumps

What am I supposed to do when my adult daughter asks for everything I own?

My adult daughter constantly asks me for everything I own including clothing, shoes, jewelry, household items and anything else you can think of. I help her as much as I can but she asks for things she doesn't even need like clothes. She has so many clothes that she's always giving them away. She's even asked for things back that she gave to me years ago. I can't buy anything new without her behaving as if she has the right to wear it first or use it at will. I bought new shoes for the first time in almost 2 years and she's behaving like a spoiled child - pouting and even getting angry. This WOMAN is 32 years old! I am a single, unemployed mom. She lives with a man, has no children and they both work. I am a professional and need to keep up with my wardrobe when I'm working but can't afford to buy clothes very often. Many of my clothes are old and outdated but she still wants to take the best of what I have. When I say "no" she becomes angry. I feel like I can't let her in my house!  What should I do?

Answer Question
 
twanzo

Asked by twanzo at 11:34 AM on Nov. 30, 2012 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 4 (45 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • ^what she said^
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:37 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • Just say No
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:37 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • Tell her no. Let her be angry. Don't let her in your house.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:42 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • No would be the magic word.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:42 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • No!!! It is really easy to say and stick to. Just don't let her try to pull a guilt trip. You don't deserve that.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 11:43 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • Ok, I understand what you are saying but it's not that simple. She's so easily offended that a simple conversation can turn into a full blown argument. Even when I decline things that she offers me she gets huffy about it. Should I just make it clear that we will not exchange any items between us at all to avoid the tension? I know it will lead to an argument or whatever but I'm really tired of it.
    twanzo

    Comment by twanzo (original poster) at 11:45 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • Well, thanks for your advice. I understand what you are saying and will have to just put my foot down. I know there will be tension for a while but I need to stop the madness so to speak.
    twanzo

    Comment by twanzo (original poster) at 11:52 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • Put all your new/nice clothes in another closet and keep just the ones you do not like in your close she will go to. but just a few items so if she takes the 2 items hanging there, than next time she comes over make sure nothing is in there, tell her you were purging and have not had time to shop for clothes...maybe eventually she will grow away (and up) and not be a bother to you.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:53 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • Should I just make it clear that we will not exchange any items between us at all to avoid the tension?


    Yes.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:58 AM on Nov. 30, 2012

  • let her throw a f it like a child, she needs to learn how to grow up somwtime
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:04 PM on Nov. 30, 2012

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