Anyone working for dcfs or if you've had experience please help me.

I don't want my daughter sitting in detention,and the only reason why she is there is cause of dcfs.
The judge said soon as they see that she's okay to go home she may.
If I request it do you think they will let her be released to a friends home? Or does it have to be family?
I don't understand why she's being held she isn't being abused,or molested,they said it had nothing to do with my husband or I,so I'm baffled.Could they just be saying that it has nothing to do with us? Her 13 yr old brother got into a fight. They don't fight very often at all,so can they refuse to let her home until they talk to the siblings?
She got really angry and had an outburst of swearing,and punching the walls.
FYI I'm getting her some help soon as she gets out her school is lining us up with a social worker,and whatever else we need.

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Asked by MarGeee at 4:31 PM on Nov. 30, 2012 in General Parenting

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Answers (26)

Having worked with foster children and troubled teens for years, I can tell you that this is not normal. There is something else going on here and either you are not telling us the whole story or you have not been told the whole story. Let the case worker do the investigation. Comply with them and help in every way possible. It is the best thing for your daughter at this point.

Answer by theMOMmission at 7:13 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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I work kids with social/emotional disorders. Something is more to this. I have a lot of experience with Child Services and with police. The police don't arrest a child for hitting walls of their own home. They usually don't even take them in on minor charges. They just leave them with their parents (or at the school) write a citation. YOu said it was her big brother? So she is under 13? Something happened. They don't just haul kids under the age of 13 off to arrest them. They DO take them to the hospital for psych evals and they will take them to Child Services if she indicated something is going on.
I would let her be. 1) she needs help and 2) she needs to know that this happens when you act out of control.

Answer by layh41407 at 6:11 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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If she is hitting walls and getting angry, she's not exactly happy and having fun. The safest place may be where she is at. The goal is to keep her safe. Even if it is protecting her from herself. Allowing them to continue to investigate and work on a discharge safety plan may be the best option. You can ask about extended family or friends. While upsetting and very overwheming I find detension centers can be a life saver for many people struggling until an appropriate plan can be made. Typically a pychologist or social worker will assess for at risk behavior and assist in a discharge safety plan. Talk to that person if you can.

Answer by frogdawg at 4:40 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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You need to teach your kid that calling the cops is for emergencies, not minor bullshit sibling spats.

Answer by FreeForAll at 4:42 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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OK Violated is diferent that big brother picking on little brother and sister steps in.
There is more to this story and that is the part that is probably hanging everything up.

Answer by Dardenella at 4:51 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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Something is missing here. She hit first, so I'm sorry, but she got what she deserved when he hit back. I don't agree that her calling the cops made sense. It was a sibling fight. If your son is assaulting her in a way that requires cops to be called, then there are bigger problems than "he picked on little brother and she tried to make him stop." And if Dad didn't hear the fight, and she had time to hit, get hit, call the cops and have the cops arrive - Dad wasn't asleep, Dad was passed out drunk, which is a problem in and of itself.

I don't know what's going on here, but I'd say your daughter is probably better off where she's at right now while they investigate and figure things out.

Answer by wendythewriter at 5:48 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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He was asleep? Or passed out? I ask because it's hard to understand how he could not hear a fight of that intensity if he was only asleep.

Second, I'm not sure how she ended up in detention for a week for this. Isn't that what you stated earlier; that it had been a week? Has she been charged with anything? Does she, herself, have an attorney and, if so, why isn't he/she communicating with you?

Did she physically hit the cops?

Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 5:14 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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How did she end up in there in the first place?

Answer by FreeForAll at 4:35 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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HMMM the problem is partly anyway your DH getting drunkl and passing out and not taking care of the kids.

Answer by Dardenella at 5:49 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
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you have in TWO posts said that the lawyer said it has nothing to do with YOU or your HUSBAND "BIG, HUGE, GIGANTIC RED FLAG"

she hit WHO?

BROHTER makes you wonder who they are investigating doesnt it?

Open your eyes and be prepared for whatever is headed your way

Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 7:33 PM on Nov. 30, 2012
Credits: 102167 Level 38 General Parenting Major

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