My husband was in the military for 11 years and was involuntary seperated back in Sep. Since then we have moved from VA to CA. We are happy to be back home around family but I think my husband has gotten lazy, either that or he is depressed. Not sure! As soon as we got here I hit the ground running! I found our apartment, got the kids enrolled in school, got all my things in order for me to start school in Jan. and I also applied for food stamps. He does have unemployment benefits coming in but only up until March. My husband told me that he wanted to go into the firefighting academy and then he changed his mind. Then he said he wants to try for federal correctional officer but has not taken steps to do anything that could get him a good job. He never really talks to me about what his plans are and every time I ask him about what he wants to do, he gets mad at me and basically ignores me. I have looked into different jobs for him trying to help him. I even told him I would help him with enrolling in school but he doesn't want to do that. I am not sure what he wants to do!
He sits around all day playing video games, watching tv, and goes without taking a shower for a couple of days. And won't brush his teeth for a couple days. It's becoming a big turn off.
I am trying to understand him. I have taken this whole situation hard and so have the kids but we are adjusting and I am doing everything I can to get where we need to be but I need my husband to be as driven as me. There is no time to just sit around all the time. That will not bring money into the house and it will not get him a job. He has a ton of experience and skills from the military.
I have no clue how to get him motivated and I can't help him unless he wants my help.
Asked by Anonymous at 3:47 PM on Dec. 2, 2012 in Relationships
Are their military counselors he can see? I've heard that they have a hard time adjusting when they come home. Not working can effect them in a whole other way. He is showing signs of depression & needs counseling. GL.
Answer by mrsmom110 at 3:52 PM on Dec. 2, 2012
Well in that case, he needs a swift kick in the behind! No one WANTS to work, but it's a necessity! Hello? How does he think he can support his family (which is what a lot of upstanding men feel the need to do), if he doesn't put forth the effort?! Treat him like a kid, no video games until he has spent his day either looking for a job or going to classes to improve his chances of finding a job. Laying around doing nothing is NOT an option soldier! GL!
Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2012
Military One Source will provide 6 sessions of free counseling also long as he is in the 6 month time period of leaving the military. Why was he involuntarily separated? It sounds like he is depressed or he may just be enjoying his "free" time that he has right now. Especially if he was deployed recently. Do you have a job or are you just living off of his unemployment? I would not treat him like a kid. Treat him like the adult he is. Sit down with him and discuss the bills and show him that something needs to happen soon.
Answer by JeremysMom at 4:14 PM on Dec. 2, 2012
Answer by NannyB. at 4:29 PM on Dec. 2, 2012
Answer by Ballad at 6:16 PM on Dec. 2, 2012
Answer by booklover545 at 7:39 AM on Dec. 4, 2012