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3 Bumps

I hate that we're not a family

My boyfriend and I have been through a lot in out four years. We've been engaged broken up lived apart lived together and then apart again. But most of our trials have not come from problems between us, but those caused by other.

When I met him I wasn't aware of how clingy his newly divorced mother was, but I would soon find out after living with her 1 1/2 years. .I became so fed up when he decided to let her move back in after we'd finally got her gone. I packed and left. He then let a divorced male friend move in and that was his living arrangement.

A year now I've been on my own. Working and supporting our kids, and trying to still give them a happy life on a part time income. I work as much OT as possible but they don't care their a business. It was a year in August that his mother moved back in. Our newborn that I was pregnant with is now going on two. I say nothing, but I hate the entire situation. My kids and I see him one day a week because of our opposite work schedules.

Their leaving, they have to get themselves together their leaving is what I've been hearing since I met him, 4 years. I really don't think he realizes how much this hurts me. He tells me he struggles and hes always broke, he's trying to save, etc.well if they aren't helping you why are they there. I'm just so stressed and fed up. I've never gave him an ultimatum or made him choose. But this is just not fair anymore.

I've been evicted twice this year (once in May and currently going through one) because my hours get cut and I have to choose between lights and rent and the landlord will only wait so long. I'm so frustrated and confused.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Dec. 2, 2012 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I definitely agree with child support!! If he wanted to be a family, he would make the other people in his house leave. Simple as that.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 7:03 PM on Dec. 2, 2012

  • If he really cared, he wouldn't be letting you raise your kids on only your income, knowing you are getting evicted and making you choose between a place to live, and lights in your house.
    sunshineemommy

    Answer by sunshineemommy at 7:04 PM on Dec. 2, 2012

  • Once a person has children ( male or female) no one should take priority over them while the children are young and dependent on you for survival. If he is allowing his mom to take the resources that should be given to his children, they are both wrong. He needs to man up and be a dad, and I have no idea how a grandma takes a house or money that should go to her grandchildren. Id live on the street first.
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 7:07 PM on Dec. 2, 2012

  • He is playing you. Drop him, go for CS. Get PA. And move on.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:15 PM on Dec. 2, 2012

  • In addition to child support, find out what benefits are available for single mothers and look into low income housing. I know people that have lived in apartments where the rent is based on their income. You need to focus on you and your children. I agree with meooma “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”. You don't necessarily need to give him an ultimatum, just stop focusing your time and attention on him.
    tempsingl3mom

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 9:13 PM on Dec. 2, 2012

  • He's made it perfectly clear that you will never be family. Get your child support ducks in a row. TODAY. See what other assistance if available by calling 211; it's a hotline for social services.

    But understand, he's never going to give you what you want. So get what your children NEED instead. Some security.

    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:46 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • You need to file child support.
    BeachMommy07

    Answer by BeachMommy07 at 1:14 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • Look you may not like what I have to say but here it is. You need to move on with your life. This man has NOT been there for you or the children. Call 211 apply for Section 8 housing, find legal assistance and get a divorce, file with Child Support Enforcement for child support, get into a job training program so you can make a living wage (medical transcription pays $24 an hour), get food stamps AND concentrate on your life. This man is not worth it. Don't you deserve better? Don't you want better? It is better to be alone than having someone draging you down at every turn.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 7:30 AM on Dec. 4, 2012

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