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Does anyone know who to deal with a child who has fetal alcohol affect.

My son , I adopted through fostercare when he was 5 has had behavioral problems but they seem to keep getting worse and he is harder to handle. He is 13 now but doesn't quite understand why people act the way they do . He doesn't understand cause and affect, for example if I do this I will have this consequence. We have a threapist and the school that works with him on behaviors also... Home life is a bit stressful. any ideas for someone like him ?

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Asked by JMT6419 at 7:43 PM on Feb. 11, 2009 in Adoption

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Answers (6)
  • i dont have any advice really. but i wanted to say bless you. not many adoptive parents would stick around.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 7:45 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Sounds like he has difficulty with reciprocity and many babies with FAS have this issue. If this were me I would look into a therapist who has worked extensively with FAS. You may have some difficulty depending on the area you live in finding highly qualified professionals.  I do know that many good books are out there explaining solid treatment plans for families in similar situations.  If you have not already they may provide some insight.  But accessing resources, even with knowing what is best practice, is very difficult for most families.  I am so sorry that he is having to live with these side effects of serious neurological damage.  And sorry that you have to watch the son you love experience all these difficulties.


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • There is a group listed on CafeMom called "Raising a child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome" sljinga shows to be the group owner, maybe you can get some more answers there or meet the 28 other moms who show to be members of this group. My heart goes out to you and your perserverance is sure to be what has kept you going thus far. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be, not only for you, but for your son. Hugs to you.

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 9:40 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I don't have any advice about what you should do, but I know what you shouldn't do and that's ignore it. My brother (from my father and stepmom) has FAS. Life for him has been rough because he truly doesn't understand consequences. He's 21 now and can't keep a job, he thinks he can just spout off whatever is on his mind whether he's talking to our grandparents, his boss or police, makes no difference... Our entire family ignored this problem his whole life and we're paying for it now. But I guess we couldn't expect much more since he was raise by two raging alcoholics.

    I'm sure with the right treatment early on your child will have a much brighter future, so my prayers are with you.

    Answer by MommyAddie at 6:02 AM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • My adopted son has FAS, I have found that by taking Concerta he is more focused and aware of his actions. He is not so impulsive. Also a very structered, strict routine helps. Post a chart with two columns. 1. If this happens 2. This is the consequence. You can also put positive things on the chart too. This really helped my son.

    Answer by joeyswish at 12:47 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

  • My daughter is 5 and adopted from Brazil. She has FAS. I have yet to find an effective way to discipline her. I do a lot of redirection and picking my battles. She does not understand cause and effect wither - she will break things of her and not even seem to care. On the other hand, she is the most loving child I could imagine.

    Answer by sljinga at 6:49 PM on Feb. 13, 2009

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