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6 Bumps

Why is he moving back?? adult content

my oldest son's dad and i seperated about 4 years ago now.. and i moved on an got married and what not.. he moved away about 3 years ago.. he lived in washington for a few months then went to oregon then to another part of oregon.. and what not, so for the past 3 and half years he hasn't really been a part of my son's life.. he calls once in awhile.. he doesn't call on holidays nor birthdays.. he bearly remembers he knows nothing about what school or sports he's involved in.. soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo i get the news today that he's coming back to cali..

how do i feel? not happy i feel like he's coming back to start drama.. he's demanding that he have him on christmas day however.. i knew nothing of him coming back and i've got plans and i'm sorry if i'm a little reluctant to just hand my son over to someone who has not been there for the last 3 year... my son is 6 do i leave that up to my son to decide if he wants to go with his dad or do i make the decision which i have already made!??

Answer Question
 
mampanda0422

Asked by mampanda0422 at 3:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2012 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,395 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • Is there a custody order? If not, don't send him.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 3:20 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • no ma'am. i never thought we needed one since well he left.. i figured he didn't want to be apart of his life..
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 3:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • Then keep him home. Honestly, he'd rather spend Christmas with his mom than an absentee father. And, give that as the reason. If your ex doesn't like it he can file a petition for visitation.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 3:24 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • he will need to go to court to get any visitation at this point and after 3 years, i would make him do just that I would not let him see him perios until that was in effect.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 3:26 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • I would not send him for Christmas. He does not deserve to have him on a holiday. And you don't want him to be uprooted when its a special day for him. However, I personally would CAUTIOUSLY embrace him. Your son does need his father. I hope and pray that hes had some sort of awakening for your sons sake. Good Luck.
    mlmsm928

    Answer by mlmsm928 at 3:38 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • What luv said ^^
    maecntpntz219

    Answer by maecntpntz219 at 3:47 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • No custody order? Then you can do what you want. let him go or not. Or just tell Dad to come over to your house and visit.
    Tell he goes to court for visitation and custody. Were you ever married to him?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:49 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • I'd make him get orders from the court. He's the one that disappeared from his life the last 3 years. You can offer to let your son call his dad on Christmas Day as a compromise.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 3:50 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • no thankfully we were never married. i told him that we could work out a trickle effect to trickle him back into my sons life.. no over nights for awhile.. and his response was well i'm his father.. but to me that doesn't really bother me ive gone through enough with him hurting my son in order to let him do it again
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 4:12 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

  • Sounds more like a sperm donor than a daddy. Any man can become a father, but he hasn't been a daddy in over 3 years. What about child support? I would do everything the legal way from here on out. Get custody & visitation established & child support too. If he truly wants to make the effort, then great. I would allow it, but slowly & cautiously. Christmas is meant for family time, so if you want to be gracious enough to invite him over for a visit, then more power to ya. But don't let him make you feel guilty if he waits til the next day. Afterall, he's waited 3 yrs!

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 4:41 PM on Dec. 3, 2012

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