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how do i go about leaving my boyfriend and keep our child in my custody?

i dont get treated very well by my boyfriend and i am not happy with him anymore. i dont want our daughter to grow up in an unhappy home. i grew up that way and i have a hard time being happy in my life now. both him and his mother have already told me that if i try to leave him that they would take her away from me. what do i do? i am so stressed out and i dont know what to do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Feb. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I would petition the court for custody and child support and make sure you keep a log of everything that is going on. You don't need an attorney but if you like you can hire one.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:07 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Before petitioning the court I would make sure I had a stable permanent living environment and means to support the child. You are making the right decision. I think your case will show better if you have these things in order because they are going to try to prove you are not able to properly take care of your child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • hes aboyfriend? So did he sign the paper work and bc? I was told that if he didnt YOU HAVE 100% coustody. Not sure how much thruth there is to that, just what i have been told
    get legal advise

    Answer by ReadyToRage at 9:35 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • first of all, no judge would take a happy healthy child from his/her mother without just cause. So you may have the law on your side, act like your the real winner even your nervous. You can try to arrange for them to see the baby, but he/she lives with you. Every child needs his/her mother.

    Answer by CamsMom82208 at 10:19 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • Check with an attorney in your area to make sure the same laws apply but here my "adopted" daughter was told.
    1. even if his name is on the birth certificate without a court order giving him visitation or custody he can not take your child. Since your not married you make the decisions.
    2. Even if your living with friends and family and they are supporting you he can not come and take the child even if he shows up with the police because there is no court document that gives him visitation or custody.
    3. make sure that it is in writing to your sitter or anyone who has your child while your away at work or anywhere NO ONE BUT ME OR XXXX is to pick up my child from your care.

    If your living with him then it may be a different case but like I said check with your local attorneys.

    Answer by lisajohnston707 at 10:52 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • You should make sure you have means to show in court that you are capable of taking care of your child on your own, I'm just saying for the short term if you are wanting to leave and start fresh you can do so without worrying he will take your child right away.

    Answer by lisajohnston707 at 10:54 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • You should establish a permanent place of residence and then file for child support. I would not worry about his mother as I feel their threats are idle. No judge in his right mind is going to take a cared for child away from his/her mother unless she is abusive/unfit. Good luck:)

    Answer by micrespo at 11:05 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • You can walk out if you want, make sure you have a stable living situation and job to support the child. Because you are not married you can walk out on him whenever and he can't do a thing to get custody until you go to court over it. If you document everything he says or does like drinking or calling you names, or not taking care of the baby (make sure to include dates, times, and even the temperture and weather so it can be proved it wasnt just made up the day before you went to court). If you take the baby and leave, do not let him see the child untill you go to court because if he is documented on the birth certificate he can walk off with the baby just like you can.

    Answer by 3_Gerber_Girls at 2:11 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • first get you and the child into a safe house- if he or his family are dangerous don't tell them where you are. Get a restaining order if you don't feel safe.
    If you can afford it get a lawyer. If you can't afford it see if legal aid can help you.
    You need to motion the court for custody of your child. You may be able to find these motions online.
    good luck and act quickly before he acts.

    Answer by maiahlynn at 6:36 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

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