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2 Bumps

Child family services

They still haven't contacted us and my daughter has been in the "protective custody" or juvenile jail for almost a week now. The probation officer just barely got her case this morning at 6 and I have to go back in at 3:30 to see if she has anymore information. She's requesting my daughters school records,which isn't good. She's in night school and is doing well now there at the school. She has a long school record,and I'm afraid the judge will use it against her. I told the probation officer I really want her home and that we are willing to do whatever it takes to get help for her and my whole family. She did say dcfs is slow and this could take awhile,I don't think it's cool to keep kids locked up for stuff like that,she said they are concerned for her welfare. I'm scared they will take all of my kids out of my home,or go to the school and take them. I have four 11-14-15-17. I really wish this nightmare would end.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Dec. 5, 2012 in General Parenting

Answers (19)
  • it's because there is more to this story than you are telling or willing to believe. I am sorry we have all answered this and as sorry as I am that your daughter is there, she is safer if her brother who she hit adn in turn he hit her doesnt want her home. Breathe be glad that she is not at the brunt of your 17 year olds anger and in a position where he can hurt her right now. SOMETHING happened and its bigger than a fight over big brother picking on little brother and she does not need to be home with a dad who drinks and is put to sleep by it.
    luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 11:26 AM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • What's the story?!
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • luvmygrandbaby

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 11:54 AM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Protective custody is way different than juvenile detention. What is the actual location where they are keeping her? A safe house, or jail?
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 11:55 AM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Thanks luvmygrandbaby. Now it makes a lot more sense.

    If I had to guess I'd say that they feel there is a danger between your daughter and son. That there is a lot more going on when you're not there. They feel that your dh is not supervising them due to his drinking and sleeping while they are awake. He may not have been drunk but he did not protect her/brother.

    You sound like she has had an anger problem before and she really needs to work on it. It's hard to have a child away from home but sometimes if they can get help for their anger then the whole home benefits. My own dd was arrested at 16 1/2. Spent 2 weeks in juvie and from there went to a foster home. She fooled them there and was eventually sent to a group home until she turned 18. Then she took off to see the "world". She's still not 100% but she is now 21 and taking responsibility for her actions & says it really helped her hard as it was.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 12:27 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Having read the comments and your post, there is more to this story than you are leading on. There has to of been prior problems before this as I find it highly unlikely they would put her in PROTECTIVE custody over a MINOR incident with her brother. I'm guessing where she is at is probably best and if you knew she had severe anger problems then you should have set up help for her instead of waiting until cps became involved.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • I'm glad you're going to get to talk to someone this afternoon. I can understand that the wait time is pretty challenging. It sounds like you are fearful about what might happen when the caseworker sees your daughter's school records.
    Keep in mind that these professionals are trying to make sense of a situation that includes your daughter's obvious distress & dysregulation. Being able to review some of the kinds of problems she's had will help them to connect the dots & to contextualize the situation. They aren't expecting roses.
    My guess is that since things between your (15yo) daughter & her brother (age 14) escalated so severely, this is a concerning dynamic (and indicates HIS serious lack of regulation) and has delayed her discharge from the facility.
    Everything needs to be assessed. And responded to!
    What she says is part of that process & ultimately will contribute to your family getting help & responding constructively.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 12:45 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Without knowing what she did I can't say. Maybe this is the best place for her right now while you get the help for her and the whole family together.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 1:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Well it is better that she is safe and like you say she is doing well in the classes she is taking there. Just comply with whatever they want from you. Good luck.
    booklover545

    Answer by booklover545 at 2:47 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • I must have missed the first part. I would be questioning not having had contact for a week. Since this is a juvie you should have been allowed contact and there should have been a hearing usually within 24-48 hours. If there was a major fight between siblings as I'm reading it might be the best place for her right now. YOU are going to have to do something to change the situation. Even if the judge were to release her the judge could decide that a foster home is the best place for her. With a father who drinks and violence in the home there is a good chance of this happening.

    Normally they will not remove other children unless they feel that they are in danger. I am assuming that CPS has already been out to your home to talk to them and anyone living in the home. If they are still there then chances are they will leave them. You really need to get a lawyer. If you can't afford one ask for one ASAP!
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 11:43 AM on Dec. 5, 2012

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