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2 Bumps

Update: unexpected "D" word...

Alright, so after hanging with some friends then doing hours of thinking by himself last night, my husband came home to talk. He apologized for "everything he has put me through". He said that he feels worthless due to being out of a job for so long and that he doesn't know how I put up with him. He says that none of the things he blamed me for initially are my fault and that he recognizes that I've been the only one trying lately; it made him realize that he didn't think he deserved me. He told me he didn't love me "that way anymore" because he could see it was hard for me and wanted to make it easier bc he thought if I didn't think he loved me, I would let him go easier. He realizes he needs to work on healthy ways of dealing with stress before it builds up to such a high stress level. I will continue to suggest counseling.

I want to thank you all for so much great advice and non-judgmental support. I am glad that he had time to think things through and realized some of these things. We both have things to work on in our marriage, but they are definitely not things that cannot be worked through. I am glad he decided this as well.


Asked by Kword at 8:04 PM on Dec. 5, 2012 in Relationships

Level 27 (29,610 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I am really happy the lines of communication are opening. Two steps forward, expect the one step back as well, but progress still gets made ;).

    Answer by tessiedawg at 9:38 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • I didn't see your question, but I'd still recommend some counseling for you both... these things aren't easy and feelings can easily sway.... give it time.

    Answer by m-avi at 8:05 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • A line from The Wedding Singer pops into my mind,"Once again,something you could have mentioned YESTERDAY!!!!!"

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:07 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Glad to see he has at least accepted he needs help. Now it's a matter of him getting it but accpetance is the first step. Hopefully it can work itself out from here.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Is he willing to seek help for his depression? I did like the picture, you can tell that you all love one another.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 8:12 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • I'm glad to hear that there is an opportunity to work on things.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:12 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • I hope everything works out for the best :)

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 8:21 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Oh, wow! When I responded last night, I didn't even realize you were the same one with the picture! Wow!

    Well, I'm glad he's admitted he needs help, and I'm glad you've both realized these are things that you can still try to work out. And I hope you do work them out. Best of luck!

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Obviously this is a hard situation, but it sounds like you are both are committed to improving your marriage, which is good news...particularly compared to yesterday.

    Chin up, mama. Onward and upward!

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 11:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • We have been having conversations one step at a time, as there is a lot to talk about. He seems to be willing to "seek help", now. A more in depth conversation about that particular subject will come tonight or tomorrow.

    Comment by Kword (original poster) at 8:14 PM on Dec. 5, 2012