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4 Bumps

How do you get that "spark" back?

My husband and I have been together for almost ten years, and we've lost are spark. I still love him but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him anymore. A friend told me we should go on a romantic vacation and try to rekindle our relationship, but we have three small children (ages 5, 3, and 1) so we aren't able to take a vacation by ourselves. Do you have any suggestions?


Asked by SolaraDarkset at 8:06 PM on Dec. 5, 2012 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,106 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Remember why you fell in love with him to begin with. Start leaving notes in his lunchbox/briefcase. Build a memories box--cut a slit big enough or his hand in the top of a shoebox, then write memories of good times, compliments, things that made you laugh with him, etc, on slips of paper and put them in the box. Decorate the box, then give it to him as a gift with instructions to take one paper out every day, or week, or whatever. You can have your own little romantic thing going right over your children's heads. Wear his favorite perfume. Send sweet texts to each other. Make his favorite dinner. Watch movies you used to like. Order a pizza for after the kids are in bed, then accompany it with champagne, candles, and soft music right in your own home. If your relationship is intact underneath the spark, then doting on him will cause him to return the favor, and pretty soon you'll be like lovestruck newlyweds again.

    Answer by Ballad at 4:23 PM on Dec. 6, 2012

  • Lust fizzles
    Hows the marriage otherwise? Happy? Comfortable?

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Romantic trips are tricky when small children are around. Can you get away for a weekend? Just a night? Sometimes just realizing the spark is gone is helpful. Then you can take a trip down memory lane and do the little things you used to do. You didn't lose the spark over night so don't expect to get it back over night either.
    If you wanted to go the route of a trip to an adult store for toys or games or movies, that would be one way.
    Another route would be to spend time with just the 2 of you (hard with small kids, I know) and tell each other why you love each other.
    Might be easier to just write letters.
    The important thing to remember is that all relationships go thru different stages. Just make sure the foundation is good. Just like your car needs maintenance from time to time, so does your marriage. How's communication? How's trust? How's honesty?
    Good luck! *HUGS*

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 8:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Spark?
    New sheets, new positions, lingerie, massage oils, edible lotions, lubes (flavored or tingly), nipple treats (flavored chapstick works for this), chocolate body paint, ice cubes, sex in different rooms, sex in the car, sex outdoors, feathers, restraints, blindfolds, mutual masturbation (or put on a show for him), toys (cock rings, sleeves, vibrators, bullets, g-spot stimulators), Liberator furniture (or a pillow under the butt), ass-smacking, hair-pulling, dress up, role play, porn, strip tease, candle wax, erotic literature, bedroom games, soft music, oral sex, anal sex, sex swings.....


    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 10:38 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Take time to nurture your relationship. Treat him like a boyfriend. True love is much better that a minutet or two of lust in which with true love you might have to work harder at the lust ..but do something new and daring. suprise him with a nightie or actions he wouldnt expect from you, that will get the ball rolling

    Answer by sgarfield at 10:19 AM on Dec. 6, 2012

  • Comfortable, happy

    Comment by SolaraDarkset (original poster) at 8:12 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • We've never had any trust issues and we've always been open and honest with each other. With the kids we don't get to talk as much as we used to, but I think that's pretty normal. Thanks for the suggestions tempsingl3mom smile mini


    Comment by SolaraDarkset (original poster) at 8:33 PM on Dec. 5, 2012

  • Try going somewhere that you all first dated. Start a date night. dress up. cook him a nice meal.

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 5:55 AM on Dec. 9, 2012

  • I am so sorry Hun..How long have you felt like this? We have been married going on 32 years in July and it may sound strange but I Love David more and more each day. We had a hard go at the first but we always have fallen back on our marriage vows, it has worked like a charm. You need to sit down and write your thoughts on paper. Ask yourself honestly why did I marry him, the answer lies within you. Good Luck to you I hope this helps...

    Answer by Cher53 at 1:29 PM on Dec. 10, 2012