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My 13mo is throwing terrible tantrums. Please help!

My 13 month old is throwing the worst temper tantrums. When she doesn't get what she wants, you take something away from her or you put her down and she doesn't want you to, she throws a full on fit. She'll lay back and scream or cry, and will go on forever like that. I just don't know what to do anymore! She's so young that I really don't know how to discipline her. She's a sweet girl but she is stubborn and strong-willed and I don't want her to turn into a bratty toddler.

I'm so confused on what to do, any advice on how to handle it?

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Asked by EmisMommy at 10:54 PM on Feb. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • walk away. don't give her a bit of attention and ignore her.. she wants your attention when she realizes she isn't getting it she will quit. your not going to be able to change them.. this is what kids do but you will make them worse if you yell at her or give her a rise. just leave the room and let her do her thing.

    Answer by krazyash023 at 10:55 PM on Feb. 11, 2009


    Great article on how to start gently discipling your young toddler.

    Answer by kaycee14 at 10:58 PM on Feb. 11, 2009

  • I disagree with the walking away. I mean, it's okay to do once in a while, when they're just being silly, but if walking away becomes a parenting style, it hurts the parent/child relationship.

    THere isn't a whole lot you can do about tantrums, because they WILL happen, and if I remember for DD they were bad right at 13 months. I couldn't take her anywhere. It stopped after a month or so.

    What i did, is I would just sit down quietly in front of her, and watch her, and she would stop (sometimes).

    Also, learn to pick your battles. Is it worth her freaking out because you don't want her to play with your car keys?? Stuff like that.

    Good luck.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 5:41 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • its hard but i also hear to ignore it when they see you dont respond they stop. its to get your attention and to get what they want. my son is 3 and will try but i dont jump and he sees ok this isent working. when he calms down i say now you gonna stop?.. yeah..ok then. but i wait for him to calm down. and i hug him. normaly he forgets what it was all about. and all our lives go on. but it is hard to deal with i'll give you that..good luck mama..

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Like Arkaidy said, DON'T ignore tantrums at this age! Your child does not have the words to express their needs - so they do it the only way they can, with their body. Some children hit, kick, scratch, bite, throw fits, etc...all they can do is express their EMOTION with their body. Parents need to learn how to help their children express their emotions in appropriate ways physically AND with words. First, try expresssing back to your child that you understand their frustration, anger, sadness - but don't say it nice and soothingly, growl it back to them on an emotional level that expresses what they are feeling! They don't know the words yet, but they'll know that you UNDERSTAND what they are experiencing. They won't feel alone - and they can look to you for guidance on how to make the emotion go away so they can be back in control (remember, every child's ultimate goal IS self control). Once you have their attention..

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:22 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • cont...give them a physical way of directing their energy - show them how to hit a pillow, or stomp their feet. Then give them the words that fit their emotion and tell them you know WHY they are angry. Also tell her how nice is it that she "calmed down." This never means giving them what they wanted, it just means that you understand why they are are angry, and maybe what can happen next time. As she gets older, you can start telling her that she needs to calm down, you can start sending her to her room or other quiet place where she can calm down on her own, then talk about what can be done next time she gets mad or frustrated, what choices would be better, and even how you can handle the situation differently (we all get frustrated!). Good luck!

    Answer by JPsMommy605 at 10:27 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I never dealt with tantrums with my kids. They knew I didn't tolerate that. My neice however have had to deal with me with tantrums and was quickly broken out of it.
    How I did it with her was when she started her tantrums she had to spend sometime in the room alone with no tv or lights. It started out hard but after about a week or two she got the point and was asking nicely for what she wanted. When her mother or I said no she knew better then to throw a tantrum because she didn't want to end up in that room.
    Now she's 8 and thanks to me she no longer sneaks into her mother's bedd in the middle of the night nor does she throw tantrums. She notices my kids get what the want most of the time so there is no reason to throw tantrums. She basically just needs to know whose the parent and whose the child.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:00 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • ANON 1 pm -- wow, that sounds pretty harsh, no lights?

    And wow again for punishing a child for wanting to crawl into their parent's bed.

    People really treats their kids like shit. Even dogs are allowed up on the bed in most homes, but not the kid I guess.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 2:14 PM on Feb. 12, 2009

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