My step daughter has been doing this for about four years (that we have been told by her) We (her father and I) just found out about this last July. She had been living with her mother up until May (2012) when her father got full custody. The reason he had gotten custody was because her mother stopped taking her to counseling, she continued to cut secretly, her mother went to jail for 90 days in Feb (2012 ( she stayed with us during this time)). She went back with her mother when she was released and did a doozey of a cut job ( she even cut ALONE in her arm). The reason for this was because her mother decided that they were moving to California that summer to be with her parents. Our daughter was sort of messed up about this, knew about it the whole time she was with us, but didn't know how to tell us. The only way for us to get her help was by getting custody and getting medicaid for her, that's exactly what we did. She has been in therapy since July (2012) and doing well. The stickler is the custody and parenting time. It was agreed that she would go to CA for xmas break, and summer vacation. We were going to do this for a year and see how things went. She went from straight F's in school (49 days missed) to A's and B's (NO days missed). She, her mother and grandmother were/are under the assumption that if she does well we will let her go and stay in CA with them (the grandmother told him that they told her to do her best so she could come out there). To us, if she is doing well, why on earth would we send her back to the people that allowed this to go on for so long?
She is leaving in a couple of weeks for xmas break, she has not cut herself since July, and now just three days ago we find out that she did it again, "because she misses them, and this just isn't 'home'." I can understand that she misses them, but she went this long without cutting, when in the world did she do it just before she's going to see them? She had no structure living with her mother/grandmother, she was alone a lot. She has those things here (structure and not being alone). I also have my two preteen girls to worry about too, I don't want them influenced by her actions. We feel like we are doing the right thing. For her, yeah it probably sucks having to do things she never had to do before, but that's life, and we are the parent's, Right? Her mother didn't have to go out there, she had a job to come back to after she got out of jail, she could have gotten a better one at that to provide better for her. I hate the fact that her mother thought moving to CA was more important than being with her only child.
Any advice on this will help I'm sure..and thank you for reading.
Asked by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Dec. 6, 2012 in Teens (13-17)
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