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3 Bumps

I feel trapped

so i honisly think this crap has been going on for about a year and i dont know wut to do, my husband and i fight all the time and i believe its because hes lazy and he just sits around an plays video games he doesnt do laundry, cleaning, cooking, dishes, taking out the trash and rarely helps with the kids. he went through a rough patch of jobs and has been working on weekends for the last 4months and just this week he got a second job were he works nights, his arrgument is because im home i should have time to do all of the house hold chours yes, but i do have to get our kids up for school then while the older ones are at school in the morning i still have 2-3 kids at home till about 11 when the next 2 go to school, im always with our 15month olf daughter taken care of her, the 2kids that are part time in school get out at 230 and then the older ones get home about 330 i just feel there really isnt time for me to do everything and when were a family of 8 for one person to clean up after everyone is too much and causes alot of stress on that person (being me) he wants me to stay at home cause of all the kids and if there every sick im there or if they have feild trips i can go which i love but when all the bills are in my name and he wants to be a dick im screwed to where i need to get a job just to be safe i just dont know wut to do or say to him to make him understand that our marriage/family needs to be a team work not one person im just on the verg of wanting to file divorce but dont havent got the guts to do it

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Asked by angelnina8715 at 11:09 PM on Dec. 6, 2012 in Relationships

Level 8 (255 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Sounds like the entire family needs to get involved with the house work. Start delegating jobs to everyone, tell them they are to be done everyday, and if they aren't start taking things away. As for your Husband, it's time to start communicating like adults. Tell him what you need, and don't ask. Men don't respond well to bitching, but they respond well to telling them what needs to be done, in a respectful way.
    I'm thinking the jobs have been left for you to do because you've always done them. It's time to let go of some of the control, and teach your kids/Husband how to clean too.
    Don't take offense I'm telling you what I think from what I read.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:15 PM on Dec. 6, 2012

  • thanks, n my kids keep up on there rooms and they do help out here n there with some chours but theres only so much that they can do but my husband should be doing, i just more look at it like if i wasnt here how would he take care of his kids n his household

    Comment by angelnina8715 (original poster) at 11:24 PM on Dec. 6, 2012

  • I agree with MrsLeftlane and getting some kind of work might be a good thing?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Dec. 6, 2012

  • Counseling. Go yourself if he won't go with you.

    All the kids except the 15 month old are capable of helping keep the place picked up. The eleven year old can help with laundry too. Paper plates. Plastic forks. And you don't do his laundry. It's HIS responsibility to do that and to pick up his own stuff.

    Don't worry about perfect. He wants perfect, throw out the game system so he has time to help make it perfect. But perfect is a waste of time. If he tells you his mother kept it perfect, send him home to her and hire a lawyer.


    Answer by gdiamante at 12:26 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Sounds to me like some or most of those kids could at least help do some house work. At least their rooms if nothing else.
    Pick your battles with your DH. When he is just sitting around not at work. Hand him the kids and say you watch them I have things to do. And then go clean, take a shower, whatever you need to do.

    Answer by louise2 at 7:03 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • After reading the first couple lines I honestly had to look to see if I posted this and just didn't remember....
    You're not alone, I'm in the same position

    Answer by shareleann at 10:37 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • the kids help for the most part and they have tried doing the dishes but i had to redo them which was okay i do use paper plates and plastic forks and spoons ive bough plastic cups here n there too cause im sick of doing dishes i told him today he needs to do at least one job perminatly, when it comes to laundry i dont mind doing i make the kids sort the clothes out before i do it since they cant operate the washer, my oldest helps with dinner when shes here but i still feel my husband is responsible for half our household working or not, come the 1st of the year if things dont seem to be changing im filing for a legal separation

    Comment by angelnina8715 (original poster) at 9:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

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