Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How can I help my 13 year old son to adjust

I am currently going through a court case my 13 year old son will be moving back with me in 1 month. he has not lived with me in 6 years we have kept in touch and had contact numerous times I am now re married and have 2 girls ages 1 and 2. my husband is very supportive of my son coming to live with us. he is staying in trouble a lot at school and home he is currently and has been for almost 6 years leaving with my older brother and his wife and kids I have been trying to get him back all alone they have they have really hard time for no reason and now that he is a rebellious teenager I can get him bk fast enough in there eyes which is fine with me I'm ready for him to come home...a little advice please .

Answer Question
 
aimeew83

Asked by aimeew83 at 1:55 AM on Dec. 7, 2012 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • Be supportive and just listen to him. This could be a tough transition for him.   Setup some clear rules and consequences for him, and insist on respectful behavior at home and school.  

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:07 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Therapy! He needs to be in therapy along with you! Most sessions will be him alone but the therapist will want to have sessions with you both as well and possible with your husband. Kids need to vent just like we do but they dont always know how. Also if he needs to vent about you who does he go to? He probably feels hes doing something wrong by venting about you. People don't realize how hard teenagers have it these days. They need to learn structured ways on how to deal with their emotions. If they do not learn this family act out inappropriately at school. Start there and ask advice from the therapist from there. Give lots of love and be patient. Everything will be ok.
    gina7171

    Answer by gina7171 at 9:48 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Therapy, family and individual for him. Sit down with him at set rules and consequences. He will need an adjustment period too. Cooperate with the school and let the teachers and school counselor know what is going on and ask for their help.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:44 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • I think it will be a big adjustment for not only him, but the whole family. He may feel like an outsider at first. Just make sure he feels loved by everyone. Try to do lots of family activities even though there is an age gap with kids. When he is being difficult you will want to reassure him that you love him, but make sure you have and keep rules. He is going to need structure. If he needs discipline make sure he knows you are doing it because you care and not because you are angry.
    divinemomma

    Answer by divinemomma at 1:42 PM on Dec. 10, 2012

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.