Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

stupid feeling. NO BASHING!

Ok this is going to sound ridiculous but i need some friendly Godly advice. I'm pregnant and due in september. My sil who there has always been a wierd competition type thing after we got married the same year, is getting off the pill this month. for some reason i cant resist this feeling of competition or jealousy type thing torward her. i pray for Gods forgiveness and help to not feel this way but i cant help feeling so guilty. i would have loved being prego with her and due within the same month or two but now its like i feel no one will care about our baby just hers. YES I KNOW THIS IS RIDICULOUS BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS. i want this baby carrying to be healthy and im trilled to be pregnant but why am i letting this rob my joy. i feel so bad for feeling like this. I'm so thankful but feel God thinks im dumb and not appreciative for the baby that i have. Please give me feed back without BASHING. Thanks.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (17)
  • its normal, you're only human
    aliciatron

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:03 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • OMG I DID THAT WITH MY OLDER SISTER
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • It's called being a human being. Here's the important thing...you know you're being silly. It would be a bad thing if you didn't realize how ridiculous it was.

    Not a "godly" answer I suppose...but all you really need is an application of common sense. **smile** (God thinks we're all a bit foolish anyway...who knows better than Him?)
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:12 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Been there too. You are human with normal human emotions. We spent 2 years planning our wedding because I wanted to finish school first. SIL was more than welcome to marry her boyfriend any time in between then, we didn't care at all. We got married and three weeks later, she was engaged. Less than three months after we got married, she was getting married. Then a mutual family member made a comment to me that they waited so long to get married because we TOOK TOO LONG to plan our wedding and that's why "they had to rush and not take their time" like we did. It made me feel like I ruined my SIL's life lol. I also was jealous because instead of being an excited newly-wed it was all about her, planning her wedding and talking about her getting married. Everyone forgot about me. You can help the weird feelings that pop into your head. You're human.

    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:13 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Your baby won't be left out when it comes to getting attention....sounds like the SIL is the one with the issues of not liking the attention off of her. Enjoy your baby and don't give her any mind.... the grandparents will spoil them both!
    naturescape

    Answer by naturescape at 1:16 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • (cont.) just think, you'll already be an experienced mom by the time she gives birth. She'll have a little baby that just wants to cry and poop while you'll have one that's a bit older and does interesting things and can play. I don't think she's going to "trump" your experience and spotlight as a mother. I don't fault you for wanting that special spotlight. As for a Godly answer, God gives us these special big moments..your wedding day...your first child..etc. things that are supposed to be a big deal, a family celebration and to be cherished. If you feel like the family celebration of your baby's birth is going to be overshadowed by this family member, I can't see how your feelings are "silly" at all. Most of us would feel the same way. But there's nothing you can do about it. Pray for joy and thank God for your blessings. That's all you can do :-)
    NovemberLove

    Answer by NovemberLove at 1:18 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I did that also with my sister in law. I remember feeling the same way. Have you talked to her about it? I will pray for you that you both can become closer through this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • Any new babies in a family are a blessing, regardless... and while I understand where you're coming from, your SIL might not be trying to "steal your thunder" as it were, but you being pregnant might have started her clock ticking... when I found out my SIL was pregnant with her 3rd, all I could think was "the next baby was supposed to be mine!" I knew it was irrational, but I couldn't help it.

    Fast forward a bit, and my friend announced at her wedding that she was pregnant... I was so happy for her, but the next day I had a breakdown and started crying while washing the dishes, I wanted a baby so badly and it seemed unfair that everyone else was having them and not me! It could be a strictly woman-ish, biological need for her, and not merely jealousy. Either way, good luck, and remember that no matter how much attention your baby gets from family, no one will love it more than you do!
    Koukla12905

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 1:43 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • It's human.


    My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time - our daughters were born 10 days apart.


    I wasn't jealous, but my BIL was a real jerk because he thought his wife should be the center of attention since he was the "favored son." They were so close in age, that everyone else treated them like twins, but the ENTIRE time the girls were growing up, he made waves until they couldn't even enjoy each other. He still compares them at family get-togethers.


    It's just human. I pray God will overshadow you with so much love that your feelings will dissipate ... and that you two willshare a special relationship with your babies (((hugs)))

    snowgirl79

    Answer by snowgirl79 at 3:25 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I had the same issue when I was pregnant with my daughter. At first she was going to be the first granddaughter, actually the first GIRL born in the family in a LONG time. So when we first found out we were having a girl, everyone was SO EXCITED. But shortly after that, my husband's aunt got pregnant and also found out she was having a girl. And suddenly all the attention we were getting just sort of went away. I know I felt the same way you do, you know why did she have to steal my thunder, so to speak. But when that baby comes you'll forget all about that silly stuff. Just "let go and let GOD". Jealousy is a human emotion and it's normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. GOD bless and I hope your baby is beautiful and healthy. That's all that matters in the end.
    jenettyshome

    Answer by jenettyshome at 6:59 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.