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Problems with the future "step mom"

She is 19, my ex is 26. She keeps doing things that could endanger my children and encouraging them to do things that are against my rules.
She over steps her boundaries and doesnt respect me at all. She acts like a child on a power trip. She alwats picks on my kids and looks for reasons to yell at them.
I have confronted her and she doesnt care. I have brought up the problems with my ex and he seems blind to them.
What should i do to handle the situation before one of my kids gets hurt or before i get the urge to hit her? Lol

Answer Question

Asked by trystons_mommy at 10:48 AM on Dec. 7, 2012 in General Parenting

Level 14 (1,507 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Well, unfortunately when it comes to the rules, there's not much you can do. Your ex is allowed to set the rules at his house, just as you can at yours. It's better if you both have the same ones, but you can't force him to, just as he can't force you.

    Now, if his girlfriend is truly endangering your children, I would file a motion with the court to get an order that prevents her from being alone with them, and if it continues when he is there, then I'd try to get his visits supervised. If the kids are coming home with bruises or something, I'd take pictures and start documenting then. Notes such as "Johnny said Sally told him he should jump off the roof using a plastic bag as a parachute" will help a lot in proving that the kids aren't safe with her/them.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 10:55 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • If they are truly in danger, then you can take legal action, but you will find that the rules will probably be different at your ex's house. I had no control over the rules my ex had, or the way they were enforced. Sometimes it was very frustrating, especially with issues that I felt were important.

    When you are divorced although it's best for the kids if you are on the same page and can work together, often it's not possible...and you have to accept that there isn't much you can do unless the kids are actually being neglected, abused or truly in danger.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:51 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • If I truly believed my son was not safe with my husband's fiancĂ©e or wife I would not be agreeing to the custody arrangement and I would hire a lawyer to bring the matter up in court. Period. My child's life is more important than trying to play nice or being civil. But age has nothing to do with safety. At 19 I would not have endangered a child nor at 13.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:38 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • How old are your kids, and can you limit their access to her?

    Answer by FreeForAll at 10:50 AM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Their is not such thing as your rules in their house. It is their rules. If you are really concerned. Go talk to a lawyer.


    Answer by louise2 at 1:35 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Court, the end.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • not=no

    Answer by louise2 at 2:14 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Yes.... get a family attorney and take them to court.

    Answer by m-avi at 3:11 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • How exactly is she endangering them? I would be calling the police, and my attorney.

    Answer by jerseydiva at 3:22 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Things like encouraging my 6year old to just run across streets cause shes too slow to keep up with him. And when im with them and we are all walking i holds his hand to cross the street and so she belittles him. "haha you have to hold your mommys hand like a baby!" She has no respect for me as a mother and makes my kids feel bad when they want to hold my hand or sit next to me. She lets them go outside and play with no supervision knowing there are 2 registered sex offenders on the street just a few houses down... Its like she has no common sense at all.

    Comment by trystons_mommy (original poster) at 10:10 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

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