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should I buy my daughter a prom dress

My daughter is graduating this spring. I'm a single parent of four teens and money is tight. Despite that I am buying her a lap top for a graduation present. Now she tells me she also wants a prom dress which will also mean that she;ll want new shoes,and the other accessories to go with it. I told her that if she changes her attitude ( she has this strange idea that I'm suppose to give in to her every demand while treating me like her personal servant) and if she helps around the home doing her chores with out having a hissy fit that I would get her a dress. So far she's done piddly squat to help out. Am I wrong to deny her a dress? She wasn't asked to the prom but wants to go as its the final dance . Her twin sister is going but she works and is buying her own dress.


Asked by karriewren at 1:55 AM on Feb. 12, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (7)
  • Yeah, unless she helps out, she gets nothing. You gave her the terms and all she has to do is comply. If she chooses not to help out, well then she chooses not to get a dress. Hold your ground Mama. If you feel very sad at the last minute, make her clean the WHOLE house, because she chose to be lazy and presumptuous. Make the work HARDER. She should appreciate every thing extra that you do for her, not expect it.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 2:03 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • if her twin sister is buying her own theres no reason for her not to

    Answer by aliciatron at 1:57 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I earned my dress. My mom had two teens and wasn't going to buy me an expensive dress. The one I wanted was expensive to my mom said that if I earned it, she would help. I payed for over half the dress and still have it and love it. :)

    If she is having a bad attitude, and doesn't help, don't give in to her. All you do is show her that she can treat you like crap and still get what she wants. My mom did this with my sister and it was awful and now my sister expects to always be babied and she is on her own now.

    Answer by celticreverie at 1:58 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • If you've already told her what your stipulations are for you to dish out the money, that you don't really have, to buy her dress and she is not doing her end then it is completely fair for you to break off the deal. In fact it would be a disservice to her if you caved and bought it for her. What would it teach her?

    She'll be pissed, but you know that's part of growing up. And it is not that expensive to buy a prom dress. She can earn the money to cover that. A lot of other kids have to pay for a lot more than that and she sounds completely undeserving of being gifted it.

    Answer by munch12502 at 6:44 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I think it would be very unfair to your daughter that is working and buying her own dress if you bought this one the dress, not to mention that she doesn't deserve it. You gave her the terms under which you would buy the dress. If she doesn't live up to her end of those terms, then it's on her when you say no. She's not a child, she is more than old enough to put together actions and consequences.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:20 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • you answered my question........she doesn't work ?? I don't know what to tell you cause you know i'm in the same boat........!!! both my girls birthdays are 10 days apart and the JUNIOR prom is 3/13.....i have no clue how i'm gonna pull it off......carly wants an ipod (300) and so the answer to your question is NO you shouldn't..........There are plenty of places she can find a dress cheap...make her earn her money...........Doy ou have cinderella's closet there........they come to HS w/ dresses that were worn once.....w/ purses, shoes and everything.......look into that....!!! karrie i feel your pain totally.

    Answer by dottief13 at 8:50 AM on Feb. 12, 2009

  • I think your being fair. You daughter needs to step out and help around the house to earn the dress

    Answer by mommiedear at 12:56 PM on Feb. 12, 2009