Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

My daughter in law is freaking crazy!!!! (long but succinct, I think.... )

So some of you may remember that I posted a while back that I was going to get my 15 month old grandson and raise him for awhile, as my son and dil were using drugs, homeless, etc. Basically an out of control trainwreck. Well, my dil decided she didn't want to give up her son, and left the state to prevent me from taking him. (I honestly just wanted him while the two of them enrolled in a Mom and Dad's Program to get clean and sober).

She has since then been livng with cousins on her side of the family, or in shelters, or on the street, using drugs, not eating well or proving for my grandson. Ive had people out looking for her, etc.

Finally a cousin was able to pin her down long enough to serve her with papers wanting custody of my grandson. The cousin is in the same state, and could get the papers served, and go to trial etc. My dh and I were never able to find her long enough to do any of that... She would take the baby and run as soon as we found her at a shelter, etc.

Anyway, DHS stepped in, did an evaluation, and the courts gave temp custody to the cousin. Now for the crazy part: My dil calls me yesterday, and asks for money for a lawyer to get her son back. She FLAT OUT ADMITS TO ME THAT SHE HAS BEEN ABUSING MY GRANDSON, but says since she did so in the cousins house, and the cousin didnt stop her, the cousin is as guilty as she is.

WTH??????? I talked with the cousin many times. She was frantic to stop it, she intervened all the time, and finally went to court for custody. She did everything put slam my DIL's face into the wall. But what kind of a total nutjob admits to a grandma she has been abusing their grandchild, and asks for money to hire a lawyer to get him back?????

Thank God she was 500 miles away or I think I would have killed her....


Asked by Nimue930 at 4:21 PM on Dec. 7, 2012 in Relationships

Level 32 (56,725 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • OH MY 500 miles is not long far enough away. and as for the money She would probably just use for her habit... Now if she can get clean and stay clean and show she has gone to AA or NA to help then maybe (yes maybe) i would let her visit and do visitation but you have a right to protect your grandson from all physical and emotional pain/harm..

    Answer by ThomJones3 at 5:01 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • While I understand your frustration, worry and anger, I feel sorriest for that poor baby. Maybe she'll do the decent thing and overdose.

    Answer by hootie826 at 4:31 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Holy cow she sounds like a nut job!! Something isn't right up stairs if she is doing that. I don't think the miles would've prevented me from harming her knowing what she had done.... but that's just me. I can't stand when people do that to children that cannot defend themselves. Good luck and I hope you all are able to get him or at least prevent her from getting him back.

    Answer by goofygalno1 at 4:32 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Where is the son? Is he home with you? I would think if he cleans up his act as well and stays with you, that would present a much better case. I am so sorry, this sounds awful

    Answer by jerseydiva at 4:39 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • . Maybe she'll do the decent thing and overdose.

    Really??? How about get sober and be there for her son? She needs help and if she chooses to not get it she does not deserve to raise her child. I'm not sure I would help with a lawyer but if she got into a drug treatment center I would try to purport her.

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 4:44 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • My dh and I have been frantic trying to find my grandson, and we have an appt with a lawyer in two hours to see what can be done about long term custody... its just complicated since its now out of state. Im resting easier now that he is with this cousin who I know loves him, and is caring for him. She called me and said the first night she had him he slept 18 hours, just from finally being able to relax!! It broke my heart.... As for where my son is? good question. He's currently being a jerk would be my best guess, and off messing around with his druggie friends.... He's 28 years old, and can fend for himself. Im done enabling him...

    Comment by Nimue930 (original poster) at 4:55 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • Gosh, that poor child.

    Answer by booklover545 at 7:57 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • op im soo sorry you and your grandson is going threw this!! im glad to hear hes in safe arms now!!!! :) as for his mom she needs some serious help theres no way a judge will let her get her son glad to hear your also not enabling your son too that can be a task in its self! goood luck hope for the best

    Answer by rachel216 at 9:23 PM on Dec. 7, 2012

  • I am so glad the cousin stepped in as soon as she could and I really hope you get custody of him. GOOD LUCK. Please up date us with how the appt goes.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 5:25 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • Good Luck...

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 8:22 PM on Dec. 8, 2012