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Ex Wife at a funeral

My daughter lost her husband this last sunday. The memorial is going to be this saturday. The problem is her husbands exwife wants to attend. There is a lot of bad blood and my daughter is going to make a scene if the ex shows up. What do you think.

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Asked by CKasting at 1:19 AM on Dec. 8, 2012 in Relationships

Level 9 (304 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • what would her husband have wanted? would he want his ex there? would he really want his funeral to be more about his ex & wife's "scene" then about his passing? this shouldn't be about your DD or her hubby's ex. it should be about mourning his passing & remembering his life...which included the ex.

    it really just depends on the ex's personality and if your DD can act like an adult.

    Answer by okmanders at 1:23 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • Yes I completly agree, and no he would not have wanted her there. I do feel though that I need to respect my daughter's wishes. I believe the ex will be causing the scene.

    Comment by CKasting (original poster) at 1:29 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • The ex should steer clear, and if she doesn't, a plan should be in place to quietly escort her away should she even think about misbehaving.

    Answer by tessiedawg at 1:37 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • Well it is a hard situation, however the 1st wife does have a right to pay her respects, and both her and your daughter should be woman enough to RESPECT him.

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:38 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • did they hve children together (ex and he) if so then sure she be able to go and be supportive of their children . I loathe my husbands ex but when he almost died I allowed her to be at the hospital with her daughter. It was hard to do but I did it for my step daughter, no one else.

    If there is a sign of trouble she can be removed, the funeral director would see to it I am sure
    I went with my daughter to her grandpas funeral, I was still very close to the ex inlaws but there was very bad mojo with my ex and his wife however we were all mature enough to set it aside because we respected my ex FIL

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:45 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • The ex had 4children, 2 of which she wanted to dump on my daughter the day after she found out about the passing. He and my daughter have 1 child together. My daughter is an immature 24 and although I would hope she could set aside any hurt feelings I just know that it is going to be drama. Especially from the ex. My daughter is now thinking about not attending at all.

    Comment by CKasting (original poster) at 1:52 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • your daughter needs to grow up its a funeral
    sorry her husband died leaving her a widow so young. She needs to focus on her grief and go to the wedding

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 1:56 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • luvmygrandbaby. I do believe my daughter could use a little maturity, but at the same time she's grieving. The ex gave up all rights when the divorced. If my son-n-law was sick in the hospital my daughter would have had the choice of who would be allowed in or not. I'm just sorry that some do not give her the same consideration when it comes to this matter.

    Comment by CKasting (original poster) at 2:04 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • not if she has children who will be attending the funeral no matter what the mother needs to be there for her kids for emotional support. I understand your concern but this is bigger than just your daughter it involves her husbands children as well and as uchas she hates the ex, she needs to ignore her and go to the funeral .

    again if the ex acts out she can be removed, i would allow my SD mother to go if it were me because i love my husbands child and wanted her to be there and a mothers support is not something anyone else can give them. But you guys do what you will, I have said all I will. I am sorry for your daughters loss.

    Answer by luvmygrandbaby at 2:14 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • Why add to the pain of their grief by making a fool of themselves on such a somber occasion?! They need to be considerate of the kids, the other family members & friends & do what's right to honor his memory. Anything less is inexcusable.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:12 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

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