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Ex Wife at a funeral

My daughter lost her husband this last sunday. The memorial is going to be this saturday. The problem is her husbands exwife wants to attend. There is a lot of bad blood and my daughter is going to make a scene if the ex shows up. What do you think.

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Asked by CKasting at 1:19 AM on Dec. 8, 2012 in Relationships

Level 9 (304 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • It is so unbelievably hard being widowed that young. I lost my DH at 25. I worried for a bit that exs would come out of the woodwork, but in the end.... it really shouldn't matter. If I were you, I would just remind your DD that she was his wife - he chose her above the others. That gives her a reason to hold her head high and not stoop to their level. The funeral is all about saying goodbye, not rehashing old arguments. Ask her - how does she want to remember his funeral, fighting with another woman, or something more respectable?

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 9:34 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • they had children together, your daughter just needs to to hold it together. Maybe you can stay by her side. Have some let the ex pay respect to the father of their children.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 10:11 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • I have 3 kids with my ex and regardless of how little I respect/like him, you can bet I would be at his funeral to support my kids, new wife or not. How immature to not be able to look past that! She knew he had an ex wife when she married him, deal with it.
    Btw - as far as the hospital reference you made, your dd could have kept his ex wife out of his room but not out of the hospital. Just as the ex wife should not be in the family pew but should be at the funeral.

    Answer by missanc at 10:45 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • Your daughter needs to be mature. This woman spent a part of her life with this man loved him and he loved her enough to marry her. I believe she has a right to be there.

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 11:52 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • WTF

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • I agree with tessiedawg

    Answer by booklover545 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • I agree that the ex has a right to be there, just not in the family pew. She needs to be there to support her children and she needs to be there for closure. You should for sure remind your daughter that the woman was an ex and that he chose her. Remind her that when she looks back 5 yrs from now, she will regret it if she doesn't go, if she makes a scene, or if she doesn't allow the ex to be there.
    I have 3 children with my ex. When he passes away, I will attend his funeral no matter who he leaves behind as a widow. I was married to him for 12 yrs, raised 3 children with him, and love him. There will always be a part of me that loves him. I will be there to support my children and to say my final goodbye. I won't make a scene and won't take anything away from his widow. I will likely find a spot in the back to sit. But I will be there.

    I'm so sorry your daughter is going thru this.

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 1:46 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • i think the ex has the right to go, and although its hard for your daughter, it would be such the womanly thing to just stick it out. how high up would she be to actually just say hello!

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:54 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • because whats the issue, she was an EX for a reason!!

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:55 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

  • my friend just killed himself and the woman he was dating who is also my good friend was not even mentioned at the memorial. in fact all they talked about and showed pictures of was this woman he dated a long time ago. they showed A LOT of pictures of the ex actually and it was the rudest thing i ever saw.

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:56 PM on Dec. 8, 2012

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